Posted in Alienation

Happy New Year 2020

You don’t need endless time and perfect conditions. Do it now. Do it today. Do it for twenty minutes and watch your heart start beating.

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.

Don’t be afraid if things seem difficult in the beginning. That’s only the initial impression. The important thing is not to retreat; you have to master yourself.

Dissatisfaction is a great starting point, for it is right there that we have the most power, strength, and energy to push change through.

Let’s forget the baggages of the past and make a new beginning.

Now, as we close one chapter, the pen is gradually inking up, preparing itself to write the next.

Every moment is a fresh beginning. Happy New Year!

First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.

Starting over can be challenging, but also it can be a great opportunity to do things differently.

No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!

Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.

As this New Year approaches find inspiration around you, and motivation within you, to be all that you can be.

Posted in Self Help

New Year New Beginning 2020

Every day is a chance to begin again. Don’t focus on the failures of yesterday, start today with positive thoughts and expectations.

Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.

The secret to a rich life is to have more beginnings than endings.

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

Let go of yesterday. Let today be a new beginning and be the best that you can, and you’ll get to where God wants you to be.

Continue reading “New Year New Beginning 2020”

Posted in Alienation, PERSONALITY DISORDERS, Psychopath, PSYCHOPATHIC TRAITS, Sociopath

Why Meeting Multiple Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Is More Common Than You Think

) Predators are more common than you think and you can be a target of them through various contexts.

Dr. Martha Stout estimates that around 1 in 25 people in the United States are sociopaths. Meeting more than one narcissist is not just more likely, it’s quite common in today’s dating world, with narcissism and a lack of empathy apparently becoming more common, especially among the younger generation (Twenge and Campbell, 2009; Konrath, O’Brien, & Hsing, 2010). They are prevalent and can be encountered in families, friendships, the workplace, dating, and relationships. Given this, it makes sense that many of us would meet more than a couple of predators in our lifetime and be victimized by them. They are good at what they do, making sure you are invested in their false mask before they choose to strike. Even Dr. Robert Hare, a psychopathy expert, says he is still duped by them. Their covert manipulation and insidious tactics can leave even the most knowledgeable of survivors and experts susceptible because empathic people usually cannot wrap their heads around the idea that there may be someone without empathy acting with deliberate malice and deceit, which is why these types are able to get away with living double lives for years without anyone discovering the truth until it is too late.

2) Those who are victimized multiple times are also frequently targeted due to their assets, not just their vulnerabilities.

Predatory people are on the lookout for empathic, resilient people – those who can bounce back from abusive incidents so they can continue the abuse cycle – as well as people with resources to exploit. Narcissists especially search for “shiny” targets – those who are attractive, successful and look good on their arm, because it boosts their image. If you are such a type, it is common for them to prey on you. As Dr. George Simon notes, victims of predators “tend to be conscientious and accommodating types. So, their good nature is ripe for exploitation. Moreover, manipulators play on your sensibilities, and often, your conscience.” If you have a habit of projecting your empathy and using your resilience to endure a toxic relationship, it’s time to see the predator for who he or she really is and save your resilience for the healing journey ahead.

Continue reading “Why Meeting Multiple Narcissists, Sociopaths and Psychopaths Is More Common Than You Think”

Posted in Alienation

Severe Parental Alienation: A Mental Health Emergency

Dr. Heitler: I agree. See my earlier post on what therapists need to know to treat alienation effectively as per the targeted-parent and alienated-child reunification treatment developed by therapists such as Linda Gottlieb, MSW and Richard Warshak, Ph.D.

Dalia Erel: In addition, I use a therapy model developed by Dr. Inbal Baron. This treatment method works by having both parents together build a shared understanding of the needs of the child. That is, we focus on the child’s need for a stable and healthy connection with both of their parents.

The court plays potentially crucial roles. Initially, family courts may need to remove severely alienated children from all contact with the alienating parent. They need to transfer full domicile and decision-making to the targeted parent in order to allow the child a phase of safe time and space to rebond with the targeted parent without fear of retribution from the alienator.

The court also may need to stipulate that subsequent alienation behaviors will incur serious penalties such as extended the period of time when contact between the child and the alienator is not allowed, issuing fines, and even imposing jail on repeat offenders.

Again, responding to alienating behaviors with URGENCY is imperative.

Continue reading “Severe Parental Alienation: A Mental Health Emergency”

Posted in Alienation

Severe Parental Alienation: A Mental Health Emergency | Psychology Today UK

Dr.. Heitler: I have had at least one case in which a physically abusive (to the mother) and alienating dad with half-time parenting trained the son to be physically abusive to his mother, both during their marriage and post-divorce. The mother still was able to see her son, but in response to his episodic pushing and punching, encouraged by the father, the mother was considering removing herself from further contact with the young man. Have you seen that kind of situation?

Dalia Erel: Yes, alas. In situations where domestic abuse has occurred, the court is always at risk for believing an abuser’s false accusations. These accusations can permit the alienating parent to continue post-divorce his abuse both of the child and of the targeted parent. The courts have a huge responsibility to get these cases right lest their decisions make the situation worse.

Continue reading “Severe Parental Alienation: A Mental Health Emergency | Psychology Today UK”

Posted in Alienation

Textcare | emotional support | SANE, mental illness charity

Textcare is designed to provide emotional support and connection at the times you need it most. We provide bespoke one-way messages directly to your mobile phone.

This is a confidential service for those aged 16 and over, and each message sent will be individually written for you based on the information you give us in the form below. For this reason, you need to submit your request a minimum of 72 hours before the time you would like to receive a message, and we can’t send you more than one message in a seven day period.

Textcare is not a crisis service, and we can only respond to requests by the person who wants to receive the texts, not to ones sent on another person’s behalf.

We may on certain occasions call you to clarify what support might be helpful for us to include in our Textcare service to you.

You can choose if you would like one, three or five messages. If you would like to continue the support beyond this time, simply make another request.

Continue reading “Textcare | emotional support | SANE, mental illness charity”

Posted in Alienation




If you feel you are in crisis, you might like to know about some options for help and support in addition to the free help available from SANE.

General crisis support:

– Ring or text a friend or family member.

– Ring SANEline on 0300 304 7000 between 4.30pm and 10.30pm each evening.

– Ring Samaritans any time on 116 123. They offer a listening service.

– Ring NHS 111 by dialling 111.

– Go to your local accident and emergency department if you are feeling suicidal, or if you have self-harmed and are concerned about it.

If you already have contact with mental health services:

– Contact your local community mental health team.

– Contact your crisis team if you have one.

If you have had no contact with mental health services, eg it may be the first time you or someone else has been in crisis:

– Contact your out-of-hours GP service. Google ‘out of hours GP in x’ (give your location).

– Alternatively, your GP surgery will usually provide an answer phone message advising you of who to contact in an emergency, together with other useful telephone numbers.

– Make an appointment with your regular GP, as this is usually the first point of contact for anyone concerned about mental health problems.

– Go to your local accident and emergency department if you are feeling suicidal, or if you have self-harmed and are concerned about it.

Continue reading “Crisis”

Posted in Alienation



SANEline is a national out-of-hours mental health helpline offering specialist emotional support, guidance and information to anyone affected by mental illness, including family, friends and carers. We are open every day of the year from 4.30pm to 10.30pm on 0300 304 7000.

Our helpline is here to support you when you feel you have reached a moment of crisis. We know that moment of crisis is different for everybody – some people can reach that point daily, and for some people it is a rare occurrence.

Our helpline volunteers are empathic and non-judgemental, providing a space and time for you to talk about your mental health, or the mental health of someone close to you.

The helpline is a confidential service for those aged 16 or over. For more information on confidentiality, please click here.

Anybody is welcome to call us if you need to talk, or want support.

Getting through to SANEline: Our lines can be busy, but our lines are open every night. If you keep trying, you are likely to get through. It may be easier to get through between 4.30pm and 5pm, and 8pm and 9pm; it may also be easier to get through on Saturday and Sunday nights.

Call charges: SANE does not charge for its services but your phone provider may charge you. We have an 0300 number and this means helpline calls cost no more than calls to geographic (01 and 02) numbers from a landline, and they are included in inclusive and free minutes on mobiles.

Continue reading “SANEline”

Posted in Alienation

Emotional Support


We offer one-to-one support for those times you feel you need it most – this could be when you have a problem with your own mental health, or when someone close to you is struggling.

We provide this support through SANEline, the only national out-of-hours specialist helpline for people affected by mental illness.

SANE wants you to feel like you always have someone to turn to, offering non-judgmental, compassionate support when many services are closed.

Caller Care

We recognise that in order to access the right support some people need more space to explore what’s going on for them than the helpline is designed to offer. For those people we have a number of other services to provide more extensive support such as Textcare, Callbacks and replying to your letters and emails.

SANE wants you to feel consistently supported, and able to move forward.


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Continue reading “Emotional Support”

Posted in Recommended Reading

Christmas Planning

Well the big day is almost here.

Some of you will be lucky and get to see your children and grandchildren and others may not.

Whatever your Christmas day brings dont lose sight of the meaning of Christmas, it is for the children and nothing else matters but the happiness of your children/grandchildren.

So put aside your feelings of sadness, self pity, vengeance, revenge and any other negative feelings and focus on the positive.

I had many years of practice and believe me it does get easier, I am fortunate and can now speak to my daughter and grandchildren, not so lucky with my son 30 years on with no contact.

If you are on your own tomorrow use the day to change your thinking for now and the future. I have found many good books and websites out there which help you to understand why the alienating parent thinks and behaves the way they do. It wont change anything but helps you to have a coping mechanism to deal with the situation in a more positive, healthier way.

Here is a list from my own library of my personal recommendations for reading and viewing.

  • You Can Heal Your Life is 1984 self-help and new thought book by Louise L. Hay. It was the second book by the author, after Heal your Body which she wrote at age 60.

You Can Heal Your Life

  • Man’s Search For Meaning – By Viktor E. Frankl

Man’s Search For Meaning

  • The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

By Thich Nhat Hanh

The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

  • The Alchemist – By Paulo Coelho

The Alchemist

  • What God SaidThe 25 Core Messages of Conversations with God That Will Change Your Life and the World
  • Conversations with God 1
  • Conversations with God 2
  • Conversations with God 3

Neale Donald Walsch

  • A New Earth: The LIFE-CHANGING follow up to The Power of Now. ‘An …

ByEckhart Tolle

A New Earth:

There are many more and I continue to research and learn to gain a better understanding of Parental Alienation and the mindset of the alienator. It also helps me to understand my own thinking and improve my own way of responding to negative people.

Eckhart Tolle  “The past has no power over the present moment.” “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

Happy Christmas and New Year Everyone