The first thing to do is figure out the difference between help that will actually help and help that will only hurt your kids. Below, you’ll find sections that answer these main questions:
- What can you do when your grown kids are making bad decisions and end up in trouble—romantically, financially, emotionally, or with the law?
- How can you help your adult child become financially independent?
- When is it time to cut the apron strings and close your checkbook?
- When is it okay to step in and help?
When Your Adult Child Does Not Listen to Your Good Advice
You’re saying all the right things to your adult child, but for some reason, they just don’t listen. What can you do? Well, the answer depends on whether or not you are supporting your child financially.
- If you’re not giving them money, then you’re not entitled to them advice unless they ask for it or to try to prevent a serious mistake. This will allow you to save your breath for when the advice might be heard and make a difference.
- If you are financially supporting your adult child, then you still have a say in how their time and money is spent. Spend that money and advice wisely. For example, if you want your child to go to college, then offer to continue funding them while they do so (and if you don’t want them to drop out of college, then make it clear that your financial support will end if they don’t attend).
So unless you’re paying the bills, you don’t get any say in how your adult child conducts their life.