Dr. Steve Miller
A. This field is highly counter-intuitive – (Most people will get it wrong, they will get it exactly backwards.
B. In an alienation setting most children align with the abusive parent.
C. Pathological enmeshment – the child loses their individuality.
a. Boundary violations.
b. Inappropriate sharing
c. Sleeping with the parent.
d. Looks like a warm healthy relationship to the non-expert.
D. Non expert sees a great relationship, misses the following – they miss all types of pathological enmeshment.
a. Infantilization – To treat or condescend to as if still a young child.
b. Adultification – (Why don’t you decide if you want to see Dad?) – adult decision – kids shouldn’t be forced to make adult decisions.
E. Fundamental attribution error.
a. You look at behavior – angry man – you say it’s his character – you don’t know that someone just stole his car.
b. When an interviewer sees a severe case of alienation the alienating parent is
i. Cool, calm and collected
ii. Probably a borderline, a narcissist, a sociopath or all three
iii. A master manipulator that has learned to convincingly mimic normal behavior
iv. Presents very well, “Oh yes I encourage the child to meet with them”
c. In contrast the Targeted parent –
i. Has PTSD – has not seen the child in how long? Years?
ii. Has been told they are the problem, comes in angry and stressed out.
d. If the parent presents anxious and intense you can be sure that’s how they parent – WRONG
i. This is an elementary error in clinical reasoning and decision making.
F. Severe alienation cases are fundamentally different from mild – moderate cases.
a. Severe case with obsessed alienator, that person with almost 100% certainty has a severe personality disorder.
b. Normal people don’t do this to their children.
c. They block access for years on end for trivial reasons.
d. They breach court orders repeatedly. A normal person wouldn’t do this.
G. Traditional therapy / Normal psychotherapy makes these cases worse.
a. Johnny – how did you feel? Disaster – it will make them worse.
H. There are specialists that can treat
a. Need 4 days
b. No contact with the alienating parent for 90 days.
See more at www.fightingparentalalienation.com