Dr. Steve Miller
A. This field is highly counter-intuitive – (Most people will get it wrong, they will get it exactly backwards.
B. In an alienation setting most children align with the abusive parent.
C. Pathological enmeshment – the child loses their individuality.
a. Boundary violations.
b. Inappropriate sharing
c. Sleeping with the parent.
d. Looks like a warm healthy relationship to the non-expert.
D. Non expert sees a great relationship, misses the following – they miss all types of pathological enmeshment.
a. Infantilization – To treat or condescend to as if still a young child.
b. Adultification – (Why don’t you decide if you want to see Dad?) – adult decision – kids shouldn’t be forced to make adult decisions.
E. Fundamental attribution error.
a. You look at behavior – angry man – you say it’s his character – you don’t know that someone just stole his car.
b. When an interviewer sees a severe case of alienation the alienating parent is
i. Cool, calm and collected
ii. Probably a borderline, a narcissist, a sociopath or all three
iii. A master manipulator that has learned to convincingly mimic normal behavior
iv. Presents very well, “Oh yes I encourage the child to meet with them”
c. In contrast the Targeted parent –
i. Has PTSD – has not seen the child in how long? Years?
ii. Has been told they are the problem, comes in angry and stressed out.
d. If the parent presents anxious and intense you can be sure that’s how they parent – WRONG
i. This is an elementary error in clinical reasoning and decision making.
F. Severe alienation cases are fundamentally different from mild – moderate cases.
a. Severe case with obsessed alienator, that person with almost 100% certainty has a severe personality disorder.
b. Normal people don’t do this to their children.
c. They block access for years on end for trivial reasons.
d. They breach court orders repeatedly. A normal person wouldn’t do this.
G. Traditional therapy / Normal psychotherapy makes these cases worse.
a. Johnny – how did you feel? Disaster – it will make them worse.
H. There are specialists that can treat
a. Need 4 days
b. No contact with the alienating parent for 90 days.
See more at www.fightingparentalalienation.com
Recommendation: Protection of the child is of paramount concern.The immediate removal of the child from the pathogenic parenting and placement of the child with the “normal Range” parent, in kinship care with the family of the “normal Range”parent, or in foster care, should be seriously considered relative to the initial phases of the child’s therapy and recovery. Mandated individual therapy for the pathogenic parent as a required component of re integration therapy for the child with the pathogenic parent should receive serious consideration. Continue reading “Parental Alienation Processes Pathogenic Parenting – Concern Scale”
I have just posted to my website a Diagnostic Checklist for the three Primary Diagnostic Indicators and Secondary Clinical Features for the pathogenic parenting associated with an attachment-based model of “parental alienation.”
This diagnostic checklist is available at the link below:
Diagnostic Checklist for Pathogenic Parenting, and directly through my website
I am not sure if this checklist will be helpful to targeted parents, but I am trying to provide you with something simple that you can give to therapists and child custody evaluators.
Unfortunately, as the saying goes, we can lead a horse to water but we can’t make him drink.
We can’t force mental health professionals to be knowledgeable. If you have cancer and you’re in the position of educating your physician regarding the diagnosis and treatment of cancer… you’re in trouble. The treating physician should know more than you about the disorder. Would that this were the case with mental health professionals and “parental alienation.”
This Diagnostic Checklist for Pathogenic Parenting may, or may not, be helpful in educating therapists and child custody evaluators. Continue reading “Diagnostic Checklist for Pathogenic Parenting”
ROLES IN THE ATTACHMENT-BASED PARENTAL ALIENATION DYNAMIC
In this role-reversal dynamic, the following roles are identified:
- Pathogenic parent: The parent who psychologically manipulates the child to devalue and discard the targeted parent.
- Targeted child: The child within a family system who has been singled out for the attention of the pathogenic parent.
- Targeted parent: The normal-range and affectionately available parent; the “victim” in the story. This is the parent who is scapegoated.
This type of parental alienation incorporates elements of Murray Bowen’s family systems theory, which is based on the dynamics between people in systems.
Bowen believed the family unit was the basic starting point for explaining human behavior.
Bowen believed the family unit was the basic starting point for explaining human behavior. His premise was that “individual behavior seemed determined less by individual choice and more by the individual’s relationship context.” He believed each family member derives their identity from their involvement within the family’s relationship system. Continue reading “Pathogenic parent”
The proposition that research should be directed more toward assessing qualitative aspects of parent-child relationships is addressed, and the paper summarises aspects of a number of co-ordinated studies (Parker 1983a). The development and properties of the Parental Bonding Instrument are described and its application in studies of patients with designated psychiatric disorders considered. The measure delineates a parental style of ‘affectionless control’ (involving insufficient care and overprotection), which appears to be a risk factor to neurotic disorder in particular, and the possible nature of the risk factor is discussed. Continue reading “The measurement of pathogenic parental style and its relevance to psychiatric disorder”
When you think of the villains who defraud older people, you might picture crooks hacking into bank accounts or selling bogus stocks. But don’t be misled.
The real scoundrels might be sitting at your next family gathering, looking as innocent as folks in a Norman Rockwell painting. Roughly 6 out of 10 cases of elder financial abuse are committed by relatives, according to a large-scale 2014 study. And about 3 out of 10 instances can be traced to friends, neighbors or home care aides. In other words, 90 percent of perpetrators of fraud are known to their victims.
Even scarier: The closer the tie between perpetrator and victim, the greater the damage. A detailed study of elder financial abuse in Utah found that the amount stolen by people who knew their victim averaged $116,000 — nearly triple the haul taken by strangers. Criminals within the family got even more: $148,000. And the thieves who stole the most money — $262,000, on average — were the victims’ children. Continue reading “Fraud in the Family”
You or someone you know may be a victim of financial abuse. Here are some questions which might help you recognise if this is the case.
Has your partner/family member/carer or friend done any of the following things?
- Stopped you from going to work/college or university?
- Asked you to account for every single thing you spend?
- Stopped you from spending on essentials?
- Taken out credit cards or loans in your name?
- Spent your household budget on other things without telling you?
- Stopped you from having access to your financial services firm accounts or added their name to your accounts without authorisation?
- Made you put all the bills in your name?
- Cashed your pension or other cheques without authorisation?
- Asked you to change your Will?
- Stopped you from seeing other friends or family?
- Offered to buy shopping or pay bills but you don’t see this happening?
Continue reading “Has your partner/family member/carer or friend done any of the following things?”
Financial abuse by family and friends
Financial abuse occurs when a person you trust uses that relationship of trust to gain access to your money or property. Sometimes the people pressuring you for money or abusing your trust are your children or good friends. Financial abuse can take many different forms:
- Pressure to act as guarantor for a loan;
- Pressure to transfer or sell your house;
- Pressure to take out a loan in your name for someone else to repay;
- Pressure to give away your money;
- Money you have loaned not being repaid; or
- Persons authorised to manage your money not acting in your best interest, or using your money for themselves.
Continue reading “Financial abuse by family and friends”
Financial abuse from a family member, friend, partner or carer can look like:
- someone taking out money or getting credit in your name without knowledge or permission
- someone making you hand over control of your accounts
- someone cashing in your pension or other cheques without your authorisation
- they have added their name to your account
- they have asked you to change your will
- someone has offered to buy shopping or pay bills for you, but you don’t see this happening
- you are being stopped from seeing other friends and family.
Financial abuse from a partner can look like:
- they are stopping you from working or going to work
- they are stopping you from going to college or university
- being asked to account for every single thing you spend
- you’re no longer able to get access to your financial services provider accounts
- your partner has stopped you from spending on essential items
- they have taken out credit cards and/or loans in your name
- they have spent your household budget on things without telling you
- your partner has put all the bills in your name.
You should know that taking these first steps is incredibly brave. It may seem scary but you don’t have to do this alone. Continue reading “Financial abuse from a family member, friend, partner”