Offer your adult child tough love.
Tough love is a disciplined and strongly expressed boundary to promote responsible behavior and long-term change. You offer tough love when you set firm limits and enforce consequences.
Tough love might mean not allowing a drug-using adult child to move back into your home without first getting help. Tough love is not being willing to bail your son out of a financial crisis one more time, even if it costs him dearly.
The purpose of tough love is to stop the problematic behavior and encourage positive growth and responsibility in your adult child.
Don’t confuse tough love with meanness.The purpose of meanness is to be hurtful, which is the opposite of tough love. Tough love is intended to put your child on the path to healing and wholeness.
Don’t bail them out.
If you take on the consequences your child should be experiencing, you are robbing them of an opportunity for growth and change. Their crisis doesn’t need to be your crisis.
Crisis is almost always self-defined, which means that what you consider to be a crisis may not be a crisis to your child or vice versa. Don’t allow your adult children to make their problems your problems.