Narcissists Are Invested in Their Lies
As you can see, narcissists are very invested on a deep, personal level into the seemingly-crazy and off the wall accusations they make, or beliefs they hold. These things are an integral part of the defense mechanism, and they are not going away. Narcissism as a phenomenon is nothing but a network of defense mechanisms. In it’s base form, it is no more and no less. It is a malfunctioning primitive defense mechanism that the brain grew into instead of out of which causes them to take any criticism, real or imagined, and amplify it, overreact to it and run from it. If this seems pathetic or childish to you, it should. It is literally an adult version of, “I know you are, but what am I?”
This is what you are dealing with. This is why it’s a waste of time to defend yourself against these accusations. It’s too important that the narcissist believes these things. If they can’t believe you are the bad guy, then they are going to have to believe it’s themselves. And they cannot take that.
You might say, “Why does there have to be a bad guy at all?” and the answer is, because that’s just the way it is. It’s how they are wired. Somebody has to be the bad guy. It’s either going to be you or it’s going to be them, and since when it’s them, that can lead to suicide… it’s going to be you. That’s why they argue so hard and seem to believe these delusional things so absolutely. Their life is depending on it. Their supposed cleverness at spinning things is really just desperation. However far they have to reach and twist and turn things so that it is not their fault, that’s what they will do.
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