1. Being Seen While emotionally healthy people want to be truly “seen” by others and seek partners who are able to give them that recognition of self, the narcissist is in deep hiding. Although the narcissist thrives on attention (good or bad), everything she does is in service of protecting her mask, a false self that she wears to hide her shameful black hole within.
2. Being Humiliated Humiliation represents public vulnerability, which profoundly threatens the narcissist’s precious substitute self. Being at once hypersensitive and grandiose, the narcissist is enraged by even small, meaningless slights that others would easily brush off. For the narcissist, even a hint at humiliation is a devastatingly shameful cause for vicious retaliation, including rage, belittlement, mockery, and a host of other punishments.
3. Being Rejected A rejected narcissist spouse may fight for child custody not because he wants his children but as a way to hurt his ex. Or in a social setting or work setting, he may launch a calculating smear campaign to discredit his former friend or business partner.https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/02/04/what-the-narcissist-fears-most/