A collapsing or compensating narcissist is a narcissist that is unable, for whatever reason, to get or have something they want, so they become unhinged because of it. People who are familiar with the horrors of living with a narcissist every day will understand this phenomenon very well. The terminology may be rather new, but the behavior easily recognizable.
Narcissists Construct Fictions About Themselves
This happens because the fiction the narcissist has constructed about themselves and their life is very fragile. It is not really a very good defense against the unrelenting self-hatred and self-abuse the narcissist piles on themselves nonstop. When this defensive shield becomes fractured in any way, all of that self-hatred, all of the pathological shame, all of the narcissist’s true feelings for themselves come pouring in and they can’t take it. They crack. Their facade is gone, the shield comes down and we see the disorder as it really is: terrified, hysterical, needy, psychotic, paranoid, delusional and consumed with need. A burn victim with no protective skin. And it’s ugly. It’s pitiful. It’s sad. It’s scary. This is where people get trapped back in to trying again with the narcissist. They feel sorry for this poor, pathetic creature. And who wouldn’t? It’s a very dramatic situation.