Think of the biting fly hovering around a beast of burden. Imagine that same fly laughing and taunting the creature — touching, not touching, annoying, withdrawing itself just out of reach of correction or being held accountable for the behavior every time the animal twitches its tail in an attempt to swat the offending pest away.
That’s the Baiter. The person in a family or peer group environment who is always doing or saying things to get other people’s goat. With the intention of cooking it and making it into some kind of curried stew more than likely in toxic family units, too.
The Baiter says and does things they know are shocking, hurtful, or morally appalling just to see what the target of the verbal projectiles will say or do in response to the mouth provoking response.
Continue reading “The Baiter”
The collapsed Narcissist knows that he does not feel emotions the same way others do. What he does feel, he cannot recognize appropriately. He knows that he is failing to make real connections to others, and he knows that he cannot bond; if he wasn’t aware of this before he collapsed, he is now. He now abhors the thought of faking interpersonal connections, because it’s the fault of someone else that he cannot do it naturally. In the case I have the most experience with, it was deemed the fault of the entire social structure of humanity that this Narcissist cannot form deep emotional bonds to other human beings because they have negative empathy (they don’t only lack empathy, they get off on manipulation and causing pain.) He grows more and more depressed as he observes people making connections in public; seeing happy couples, groups of friends, or even politely-chatting acquaintances sends him into a blind rage. Violent thoughts emerge from these experiences, and during particularly abusive outbursts, he may detail the harm he wishes to cause to the people he calls “normal.” And if you object, you are part of the problem which needs to be solved.
Continue reading “They get off on manipulation and causing pain.)”
Narcissists are emotional leeches, and his supply is gone, leaving him with the shell that was his true being the entire time. Now he has only his fantasies and his self-imposed victimization to keep him occupied. The one upside to the chronically collapse Narcissist is that a more honest and complete picture of what Narcissistic mind can be formed using their self-depreciating honesty. If you are unfortunate enough to become one of his confidants, due to your own caring nature or your own almost masochistic curiosity, you will quickly learn that this person is extremely empty.
Continue reading “The Collapsed Narcissist’s Inner Landscape”
The Narcissist does not deal well with failure (or anything but stunning success) so having many failed relationships and careers only adds to the underlying lack of confidence. So while the Narcissist has done every self-destructive thing he could to ensure his own fall and abandonment by being erratic, self-absorbed, and abusive, he feels victimized and abused when it happens. He causes his own Narcissistic wound and then continues to pick at it until the entire limb is gone. The Narcissist has not lived up to his ideals and loses his human extensions, collapses, and settles into a mental loop of deluded, self-imposed nightmares. Maybe you see it happen, maybe you cause it, or maybe he has already been like this for years when you meet him. There are many scenarios that can help lead to a Narcissistic collapse, but “none of them are his fault.”
How the Narcissist Collapses
Narcissists of all kinds rely on a very fragile system of thoughts, behaviors, internalized ideals, outright lies, and sources of Narcissistic feed (also known as Narcissistic supply) to function. But, Narcissists themselves are volatile, unreliable, angry, immature, and erratic. This does not lead to happy long-term marriages or to stable careers, despite the many half-hearted attempts to create them; the people around them who are mistreated will eventually get sick of their shit and leave them behind. The Narcissist does not deal well with failure (or anything but stunning success) so having many failed relationships and careers only adds to the underlying lack of confidence
Continue reading “How the Narcissist Collapses”