Empathy is available when we are in a relaxed and calm state. For a trauma mental health team that goes in after a major mass shooting or bombing, the trauma therapists have to be calm and composed. We’re the ones bringing the empathy to the psychological treatment of trauma. We need to be relaxed and composed, otherwise we lose the capacity for the very empathy that heals.
I’m going to share something very important from clinical psychology for all the targeted parents, but I’m going to do it off the record.
The reason I want this off the record is because I do NOT want to imply in any way, shape, manner, or form that the targeted parent is doing anything to create the child’s attachment pathology. Nope, nope, nope.
Nor do I want to give targeted parents advice on how to get the child to love them, which would only expose the child more fully to their psychological brutalization from their narcissistic/(borderline) parent – we must first protect the child before we can ask the child to reveal authenticity. The child is doing what the child must do to survive.
There is a reason for psychological defenses. We do not take away a defense until there is no need for the defense. Right now, coping with…
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