Your family is just plain dysfunctional and it is too unhealthy for you to be around them right now.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much self-development work you have done – it is easy to get hooked into old patterns and ways of being. Martha Beck writes, “There’s nothing in the world as sticky as a dysfunctional family. You can put half your life’s savings into therapy—good therapy, effective therapy—and, 15 minutes into a holiday reunion, you still become hopelessly enmeshed in the same old crazy dynamics. Your assertiveness training goes out the window and a mere sigh from your grandmother triggers an attack of codependency so severe you end up giving her your house.”