Emotional grooming is primarily a specific use of language.
- A “groomer” skillfully plays with words, learns to identify what the perceived victim wants to hear, and uses this knowledge, for personal gain, to direct and to keep the focus of her attention exclusively to meeting his emotional and physical needs — at the expense of her own.
- A groomer takes pleasure in skillfully causing pain to increase his sense of control in keeping her anxiously focused on not upsetting or angering him.
To a woman or teen, it can feel confusing, and is. It is a form of thought control known to jam up the otherwise amazing critical thinking capacities of human brains.
Why does emotional grooming work?
An emotional groomer would not be anywhere near as effective, however, were it not for complementarycultural conditioning that paves the way for women from girlhood to be at risk of falling into the mind traps. As a complement to the notion of rightful male dominance, the same cultural forces emotionally groom women from girlhood to believe one or more of the following:
- To believe in romanticized notions of female passivity and accept these as norms.
- To believe their value and worth as human beings, unlike men’s, is based primarily on meeting the needs of others, i.e., husband, children.
- To hold that a good woman, according to this doctrine, never looks to her own needs, and that only “selfish” women do that.
- To think it’s their job to meet men’s need to feel more important, entitled, etc., and thus, to behave like children, dependent, helpless, in need of men to take care of them, protect them, make decisions for them, etc.
- To regard women who do not “know their place” bad, evil or dangerous to society, emasculating or hurtful to men.
- Thus, to accept the notion that a ‘real’ man ‘should’ subdue women who do not know their place, much like parents do in response to unruly or disobedient children.