All of us have experienced the ugly green monster or Jealousy at one time another. I know I have both been jealous of someone else and noticed that another person was jealous of me. Although we may think of jealousy as a normal human emotion, God actually sees it as sinful–something fleshly. Jealousy has not gender, age, race, class, or culture and anyone can be a host of it. If jealousy is not checked when it first roars it’s ugly head, it can ruin self-esteem, friendships, jobs, you name it! Each person is different and show their feelings in various ways. However, there are some general signs that you can look out for that most likely show that your BFF is feeling some type of way towards you. Let’s take a look
She makes negative remarks, noises or faces when you are complimented or praised
“Out of the abundance of the mouth the heart speaks…” so if a friend is jealous of you, you better believe that it will come out in either her verbal or nonverbal body language! Some people will make blunt rude or hurtful remarks when you are complimented but others may be a little more slick about it. Look out for back handed compliments and hidden negative statements as well as the blunt ones. People who are not outspoken may make grunts and moans rather than speak their mind. They may also present with some aggressive body language like making mean faces, leaning towards you like they want to hit you or walking up on you closely to try to intimidate you. People act like this in hopes that you will dim your light to make them feel better.
She tries to dress, walk, talk, and act like you!
This one actually shocked me when I found out that people who are jealous of you and want to be like you will try to imitate you. They are not confident in who they are and what they have to offer so they feel like they have to be a clone of you. No, imitation isn’t the best form of flattery. It’s down right annoying, especially when you’re an adult and you feel like someone is trying to steal your identity and individuality. God made all of us unique with different looks, personalities, thoughts and opinions. We need to share what we each bring to the table.
She steals your ideas after you shared them with her
This goes back to copying the other person but it’s deeper than that. Your friend may feel that taking your ideas and presenting them as their own at work or school will make them more like you and that they will have whatever qualities you have that they desire. She also may do this as a way to beat you to the punch and to make herself be seen as better than you. There’s no need to steal ideas from others. What’s for you is for you and we are all gifted in different areas. If your friend is better than you in one thing, you may be better than her in another. Enjoy your differences and learn from one another.
She purposely tries to hurt or offend you
People who aren’t happy with themselves try to hurt the person who they are jealous of. They say that misery loves company and a jealous friend will want you to feel as bad about yourself as she feels about herself. She may do things to offend you like purposely leave you out, do things that she knows annoys or hurts you, steal your boyfriend, talk to your crush, or talk trash to people about you behind your back. That leads me to my next point…
She talks trash about you when you’re not around
Jealous friends may become so obsessed with your perceived perfectness that they become so worked up and begin taking smack about your behind your back. Although gossiping is wrong, it’s normal to talk about people every now and then. However, a friend that has not so friendly feelings towards you will talk about it to your mutual friends and sometimes even your enemies. They may be doing it to get people against you, to get them to side with them, or they may not realize why they are doing it at all. The goal in general is to make you look like you’re not all that to others.
They start spending less time with you and avoid you calls/texts/DMs
Some friends may get to the point where they can no longer be in your presence because of their negative feelings towards you. Your friend may start making excuses as to why she can’t hang out with you over and over and just decline each time you reach out to her. She will stop reaching out to your first–or at least not as often as she used to—and take hours or days to respond to your calls, texts, and direct messages online. She may not answer them at all.
She will try to get rid of you
Once a jealous friend has had enough of you she may try to get rid of you and drop you all together. If you are an adult, she might stop contacting you altogether or tell you to stop contacting her. If you two work together, she may conspire to get you fired or sabotage you so badly that you feel you have no other option but to quit. When someone is at this level of jealousy, she can no longer stand to be in your presence and you need to look out.