Sometimes the voice of the Higher Self may feel unfamiliar to us — so much so that it is hard to relate to it as “self.” But I would argue it is actually our truest nature. You can find it by noticing its qualities.
Your Higher Self is probably speaking if you notice any of these six characteristics:
1. Calm and centered. Your Higher Self voice is calmer than the ego. It is the “anti-Chicken Little.” It can calmly observe all the craziness of life and stay centered. It can even calmly watch the ego doing “its drama thing” and patiently smile.
2. Seeing with compassion. Higher Self can easily imagine why other people might do weird and crazy stuff. Ego prefers judgment and self-righteous high ground.
3. Long-term focus. The ego looks for short-term gratification. The Higher Self looks at the long term. The ego’s advice might be to deliver a verbal smack down that feels righteously self-justified. The Higher Self knows there is long-term pain for you and the other person in that choice.
4. Win-win outcomes. The Higher Self knows that sustainable good outcomes come from caring for others AND taking care of self. Either/or solutions are rarely good relationship tools. Everyone should see some form of “win.” Creativity and intuition (aspects of our Higher Self) can break through traditional ego-solutions and see a better path.
5. Strong boundaries. I love to say that there is nothing wimpy about being spiritual. The Higher Self can say “no” and mean it. Higher Self sets boundaries calmly and clearly. There are times to be compassionate, wise and immovable.
6. Positive emotional texture. The Higher Self can see beauty and wonder in so many places. If you are feeling peaceful, joyful, grateful, wise and compassionate you are probably in Higher Self. Watch your body. Ego tends to cause fight or flight responses like shallow breathing and clenched muscles. Your muscles and emotions will help you know which voice you are listening to.
Overall, our Higher Self looks to find what is right, what is good in all the people and all the parts of this set of circumstances. It looks for something to be grateful for.