Here’s an example. Your partner is insecure and afraid of commitment. Instead of accepting this reality, they start to punish you, insisting that you make things difficult, that you’re always showing signs of distrustand a clear desire to cause them harm.
The problem is not you, it’s them. But instead of facing the fact that they have a self-esteem problem,they punish you, providing evidence for things that aren’t real. They throw their anger at you like darts and project their negative emotions onto you so that they can achieve the following:
- Ignore the problem and attribute it to others.
- Free themselves of their internal load and leave it somewhere outside of them, on the people around them
- Gain a clear position of power. “I don’t have a problem, other people do. The world should revolve around me.”
- The belief that other people are the problem allows them to distort reality any way they want. They can believe in their fantasies and deny their true flaws.
How to break the habit
Psychological projection is a complex topic. And sadly, it occurs frequently. Many people who are subjected to psychical and psychological abuse continue projecting positive images onto their partner. Why? Because this way they can protect themselves from reality.