When someone is projecting because it’s really about how they feel and/or what they’ve done, we get accused of stuff that’s often completely out of left field, or innocent stuff gets twisted around to suit the story that’s already in their head. They often don’t want to budge from the story!
That’s really when we know that projection is crossing into that damaging territory because as humans, we’re all guilty of making judgements but it’s more than a step too far when a person is unable to distinguish between what they think/did and what you think/did. It’s too much when they’re not open to another version of events.
They’ve made up their mind and to back away from it is to bring down the story that’s protecting them from their true feelings and thoughts.