The narcissist feels a compelling need to control people in his (or her) environment; his spouse or partner, work mates, friends and neighbors. That is because in his own mind he doesn’t feel in control; because he lacks feelings of internal control he has the strong urge to control whomever he can externally. He (or she) will seek to dominate every individual and every group with which he interacts. The narcissist’s obsessive desire for control is actually not about control for control’s sake; it is essentially a defense against the risk of receiving a “narcissistic injury” (a blow to the ego or self-esteem).
A major component of narcissism is gaining control over others. This behavior is often a reaction to a childhood completely dominated by a narcissistic parent (or parents)- controlled in all aspects of his young life and not allowed to develop control over his own life. Healthy parenting involves allowing children to learn where the boundaries lie, whereas narcissistic parenting involves the parent(s) establishing complete emotional control over their offspring.