No one would choose to be in a relationship with a narcissist. What usually happens is that we make the choice subconsciously. We are all attracted to someone who reminds us on some level of one of our parents so that we can recreate the dynamic that existed when we were children and heal the wounds from that time. If your mother was very controlling, for example, and didn’t listen to you, will you tend to be attracted to controlling people as an adult because you still want to try to get that love and attention and care you longed for as a child. That is why we are attracted to narcissists or to people who do not seem to care about our needs. Their behaviour seems ‘normal’ to us because it’s just like our parent’s behaviour, so it doesn’t raise any red flags. Anything that is familiar, whether good or bad, feels comfortable. While we may not be happy with their behaviour, it is hard to leave because we feel driven to try to get this person to give us the love we need. The problem is that the narcissist is incapable of giving you what you need, just as your parent was.