“Being a practiced liar doesn’t mean you have a powerful imagination. Many good liars have no imagination at all; it’s that which gives their lies such wide-eyed conviction.” — Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass
Hypocrites spend their lives cheating, betraying, conning, and deceiving. But despite this disgusting pattern of behavior, they still feel entitled to point out (or invent) the most minor mistakes in others—and they’ll point them out repeatedly, to negate & excuse all of their own horrible actions.
As a result, you spend more and more time trying to prove your ethics to the most unethical person on the planet. You end up feeling guilty for being five minutes late to a date (months ago), while they gleefully cheat on you with another man or woman.
If the moral scales in your life seem to be skewed beyond all recognition, you likely encountered a pathological hypocrite—or a psychopath.
Here are some warning signs:
2) The rules apply to others, but they do not apply to me. They believe they are above the law—both legally and ethically. They feel entitled to behave however they choose, but others must be kept in line at all times. We see this in politics every single day, when our elected officials stomp across the morals they enforce upon everyone else.
3) It is always someone else’s fault. It’s not their fault for lying. It’s your fault for being so petty and pointing out their lie. They might also bring up your past mistakes, to prove that their lie isn’t actually so bad by comparison. Someone is always out to get them, and that’s the reason behind all of their problems.
4) Anyone who points out my wrongdoings should be punished. When all else fails, you must be punished, so you learn not to point out their lies anymore. This can be done through triangulation, cheating, and most commonly—the silent treatment.
5) The perpetual victim. Their bad behavior always has sob-story roots. They learned to lie because of their abusive ex, or their abusive parent. They hate drama; all they’ve ever wanted is some peace & quiet, and yet they provoke more drama than anyone you’ve ever known. They declare their hatred of negativity, all the while calling you “hysterical” to anyone who will listen, even when you are completely ignoring them.
6) Condescending, patronizing, and superior. You feel like a child being reprimanded by an adult. They speak down to you as if you are intellectually deficient and emotionally unstable. They laugh when you try to express yourself, dismissing any concerns you might have as hyper-sensitive and crazy.
7) Lies & excuses. Hypocrites have excuses for everything. You will find that they spend a lot more time excusing their behavior than ever actually improving it. Instead of apologizing or admitting fault, they simply ignore reality & argue with solid evidence when confronted with it. Survivors also often notice that psychopaths seem to enjoy the thrill of lying. Sometimes it seems they’ve planted evidence that actually allows you to catch them. They lie even when the truth would suffice. Why? Because duping others is what they do. It is the only highlight of their otherwise insufferably boring lives. (Pathological lying)