Its a tough time when you don’t see your children especially at Christmas, adverts everywhere depicting scenes of happy families, magazine adverts featuring children opening presents etc etc.
My children are have been adults for some time now and it is their choice, but sadly not the choice of the grandchildren.
Yes me too, 27 years of alienation and I do still have moments when I have to remind myself that:-
“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson
If we blame negative circumstances for our place in life, we are giving up responsibility and control.
We can choose to spread our misery, or we can choose to rise above our circumstances.
Self-pity is a form of selfishness. It makes us less aware of the needs and suffering of others.
This morning I read an inspiring post on one of the PA forums about a group of alienated parents “Me and some friends are all having a whip round and putting on a big xmas dinner for a group of single and lonely people who won’t get to see their children on Xmas day at the local pub, nobody will spend the day alone!”
Mentally strong people prevent self pity by:-
- Facing their Feelings
- Lean to recognize the warning signs of the downward spiral
- Question their perceptions
- Practice Gratitude
- Help other people
- Refuse to complain
- Maintain an optimistic outlook
- Build mental strength
taken from Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, an international bestselling book that is being translated into more than 25 languages. https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/#71cf2bdb6093
So its not too late to have a rethink about the day and look at some of the options Rule no 3. Don’t be alone on Christmas day .
Christmas is not about you, its about the children and giving, not indulging in self pity.