“Falseness has wings and flies, and the truth follows it at a crawl, such that when people realize the deceit, it is already too late.”
Signs your friend might be a “fake”
- Your friend seems to love talking to you, of course, but they spend most of the conversation badmouthing other people. Curiously, they seem to get along fine with the people they are critiquing when you all go out together.
- They don’t talk about ideas, they talk about people. They are constantly talking about what is happening to them. It’s impossible to hold a conversation that doesn’t end up analyzing the lives of others in excruciating detail, comparing them to their own.
- They aren’t honest with their feelings, which is why you don’t understand them. They get themselves all worked up, and you even more so. In the end, they seem to adopt a defensive attitude “because nobody understands them.” It’s exhausting.
- Your story isn’t that bad. They say they understand you, though they dismiss your problems as “not that bad.”
- They encourage you to be happy and positive, but they don’t apply this to their own life. That means that by not acknowledging something that is hurting them, they disguise it with false strength that falls apart as soon as you are doing something fun. Either they lose control, or they’re tired, or the place you took them is a drag. Another chance to point out how worthless you are in this friendship.
- They make inopportune comments like “mine was better,” “I’ve already done that,” “yeah, but that’s happened to me, too,” “it’s not that bad….”
- They put excessive emphasis on social relationships. They always want to help the whole world, but when they do it, they feel overwhelmed. They don’t know how to say no, and when it is something serious, they seem to hesitate.