Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Setting boundaries


BPDFamily describes boundaries using a three pillar model: [1]

Defining values: Healthy relationship are an “inter-dependent” relationship of two “independent” people. Healthy individuals should establish values that they honor and defend regardless of the nature of a relationship ( core or independent values). Healthy individuals should also have values that they negotiate and adapt in an effort to bond with and collaborate with others (inter-dependent values).[1]
Asserting boundaries: In this model, individuals use verbal and nonverbal communications to assert intentions, preferences and define what is inbounds and out-of-bounds with respect to their core or independent values.[7] When asserting values and boundaries, communications should be present, appropriate, clear, firm, protective, flexible, receptive, and collaborative.[8]
Honoring and defending: Making decision consistent with the personal values when presented with life choices or confronted or challenged by controlling people or people not taking responsibility for their own life.[1]

Having healthy values and boundaries is a lifestyle, not a quick fix to an relationship dispute.[1]

Values are constructed from a mix of conclusions, beliefs, opinions, attitudes, past experiences and social learning.[9][10] Jacques Lacan considers values to be layered in a hierarchy, reflecting “all the successive envelopes of the biological and social status of the person”[11] from the most primitive to the most advanced.

Personal values and boundaries operate in two directions, affecting both the incoming and outgoing interactions between people.[12] These are sometimes referred to as the ‘protection’ and ‘containment’ functions.[13]

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Living the dream in SW France-Retired Love Swimming, Rambling, Labrador's, Pilates, Photography, Astronomy, Reiki, Travelling. Currently studying Psychology, and member of NAAP. I believe in truth, honesty, karma and integrity! KEEPING IT REAL - No one likes someone who lies and lives a different life on social media than they do in real life. ≧◔◡◔≦

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