In the initial experience of mental illness, the WS often is so consumed by trying to fight a battle he or she has little knowledge of that the WS loses his or her identity in the battle. It is like shooting darts in the dark, with no direction, no logic, and little success, but a tremendous gut feeling that something is seriously wrong. Often we hear spouses say, “And I knew if I left him, he would die”. They are probably right! When the series of events and experiences is finally given a name, efforts to control its effects can begin to take on direction and become much more successful. After the initial diagnosis, it often seems that everything and everyone revolves around the MIS. The WS must find his or her identity once again, apart from the battle. The WS cannot fix the MIS, and should quit trying. Of course, the WS can help, but he or she must learn to let go and to find himself. Hobbies long abandoned must be rediscovered. Interests must be cultivated, children enjoyed, talents explored and expanded, knowledge exercised. Do nice things for yourself. Find freedom. Demand space. GET A LIFE.