Posted in Alienation

This is What It’s Like to Visit a Hypnotherapist

First of all, if you’re considering seeing a hypnotherapist then give yourself a pat on the back.  That’s because recognising that there’s something you want to change, and then doing something about it, are two steps that lots of other people don’t take.

As a practising hypnotherapist I never lose sight of how big a step it can be for people to contact me.  Whether that’s by phone or by email it quite often means talking about feelings and fears that people haven’t felt able to share even with friends.  So, given that it’s a big decision how do you choose the right hypnotherapist? You could always bear in mind what I call the “the three Rs”:

  • Registration
  • Relevance
  • Rapport

Continue reading “This is What It’s Like to Visit a Hypnotherapist”

Posted in Alienation

The Psychology of Freedom

True freedom is primarily a state of mind, not a physical condition, therefore the study of the mind is central to an inquiry into freedom. Philosophers and theologians have had much to say about the nature of freedom and the mind over millennia, but the discipline of psychology as we know it is relatively new. Psychology, simply put, is the study of the mind. In order to study and understand the mind we need to observe it. We see how it works by watching what is does. The essential factor is the ‘observing self’, the consciousness, which is doing the watching. If we ignore the observing self, as psychology has largely done until recently, then we may have been looking at the mind from the wrong perspective, like trying to understand it by thinking about it rather than observing it. So, what do a few notable psychologists have to say about freedom? Continue reading “The Psychology of Freedom”

Posted in Alienation, Recovery

How Cognitive Analytic Therapy Can Help with Managing Anxiety

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is often recommended as an appropriate approach for helping to cope with anxiety but cognitive analytical therapy  (CAT) can also help by increasing an understanding of where the anxiety may have started.  The CAT framework encourages you to take a step back and observe your patterns of interaction both with yourself and with others in order to challenge your intrusive and often incorrect thoughts.   Continue reading “How Cognitive Analytic Therapy Can Help with Managing Anxiety”

Posted in Alienation

Parental Alienators – Dementors!!

Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself… soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.—Description of Dementors[src]

Continue reading “Parental Alienators – Dementors!!”

Posted in Alienation, Recovery

Toxic People You Should Avoid

1. The Gossip

2. The Temperamental

3. The Victim

4. The Self-Absorbed

5. The Envious

6. The Manipulator

7. The Dementor

8. The Twisted

9. The Judgmental

10. The Arrogant

Once you’ve identified a toxic person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don’t. You can establish boundaries, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively.

Word Art 15 (2) Continue reading “Toxic People You Should Avoid”

Posted in Alienation, Recovery

Toxic people defy logic

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.

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As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy—and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.

“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

People Who Are One-Sided

People Who Are Passive Aggressive

People Who Lack Forgiveness And Trust

People Who Are Punitive

Continue reading “Toxic people defy logic”

Posted in Alienation, Recovery

People — whom we can safely call “toxic”

This general group of people — whom we can safely call “toxic” — might resent your progress for any number of reasons. Perhaps they think you’ll no longer be in their life if you improve too much. Maybe they feel like your improvement exposes their own shortcomings. Or perhaps they’re just threatened by the idea of change.

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The causes are less important than the effects, which can take the form of anger, resentment, frustration, manipulation or cruelty (or a debilitating combination thereof). At any given moment, you might be finding yourself dealing with toxic friends, family members or colleagues who — consciously or unconsciously — are sabotaging your happiness and growth. Identifying these individuals and understanding how to manage them is absolutely crucial to your well being, success and happiness. Continue reading “People — whom we can safely call “toxic””

Posted in Alienation, Detachment, Recovery

The Law of Detachment

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So, detachment means not getting emotionally involved with drama, even though the drama is occurring all around us, and even though our loved ones might be insisting that we go through a drama with them. A person who can detach is NOT selfish, cold-hearted, or insensitive, but that’s what we feel they are when they won’t go along with our drama. Misery loves company, and when we can’t get company for our drama, we make the person’s lack of emotional participation a whole other drama to add to the one we’re already experiencing. So now we have two dramas to deal with — and the person is still detached! We judge that person as being selfish, cold-hearted, and insensitive, when in reality what they are doing is respecting our Free Will choice to feel what we feel, and their Free Will choice to determine for themselves what they will feel.    

Continue reading “The Law of Detachment”

Posted in Alienation, Recovery

7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life

1. Recognize when you might be creating drama.

2. Change your perspective.

3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama.

4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships.

5. Be clear and straight with other people.

6. Be slow to label something as “drama.

7. Learn from drama.

Continue reading “7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life”

Posted in Alienation

Detach From Drama

You can choose to shift from a dramatic situation in your life. How?   First think about how much power you are giving to a person or situation, how you are leaking energy. When you are living as a character in your own drama, you are giving others the power to make or ruin your day or even your life. You get caught up in the narrow focus of the storyline. By becoming the director and producer of your lifestory you shift from following a  rigid scripted play to rewriting it and making a creative new choice in every moment.  So, take back that power with the following techniques and tips.

1. Be Aware of Where Your Energy Goes

2.  Choose to Recall Your Energy to Yourself.

3.  Send Others Energy Back to Them

4.  Choose to Prevent Energy Leakage 

5. Ask – “Will this incident today be something that will affect my life one year or ten years from now

6. Use the Reframing Register

Remember – You create your reality based on your thoughts and emotions. 

Love Yourself Continue reading “Detach From Drama”