Posted in Alienation

7 Key Signs of a Blamer

  1. Pessimism. 
  2. Making excuses.
  3. Passing the blame.
  4. Quick temperament.
  5. Takes credit.
  6. Betrayal.
  7. Envy.

Beware of people who automatically assume the fault is yours. After all, it could never be their fault. By the way, these people also love to play mind games. They rehearse their entire dialogue so they will be prepared for your next conversation. It’s a full time job for them. Continue reading “7 Key Signs of a Blamer”

Posted in Alienation

How to Cope With Being Blamed For Something You Didn’t Do


It’s best to avoid this type of personality (narcissistic), as this disorder includes being negative, which can have a destructive affect on you.

Unfortunately, I have a family member who fits this type of personality. It has taken me a lifetime to recognize that she lives with a mental disorder. I became a victim by buying in to her belief system. I accepted criticism and verbal abuse. I felt sorry for her because she had a rough childhood. I found myself walking on eggshells with every conversation.

Don’t become a victim of a negative personality. It can literally ruin your life, especially if you and your accuser are related or are close friends.

The Accusation is a Reflection of Your Accuser, Not You

The Truth Will Set You Free

You Don’t Need to Prove Your Innocence

Learning New Strategies for Dealing With Blamers

Continue reading “How to Cope With Being Blamed For Something You Didn’t Do”

Posted in Alienation

Why Gaslighters Accuse You of Gaslighting

Gaslighters will accuse others of actions — even when there is direct evidence that they are engaging in those same behaviors.  So why do gaslighters do this?  They are doing pre-emptive strikes and/or are projecting.

The gaslighter uses these tactics in order to get “revenge” or gain control over you.  Gaslighting tactics include:

  • Blatantly lying.
  • Splitting — pitting you against a friend or family member.
  • Working to align others against you.
  • Telling others that you are crazy, unstable, or manipulative.
  • Lying about things they said and did, even though you swear those things happened.
  • Telling you they don’t like your family and friends — but for vague reasons.

Many gaslighters:

  • Cheat in relationships, yet they accuse their victims of cheating.
  • Accuse their victims of being addicts, when they are the true addicts.
  • Accuse their victims of manipulation, when they are the ones who manipulate.

Continue reading “Why Gaslighters Accuse You of Gaslighting”

Posted in Alienation

Turning a grandchild against a grandparent

 

Different From Simple Estrangement

Families can become estranged for many reasons, including basic conflicts and misunderstandings. In GAS, the estrangement is the result of one or more persons actively working to turn a grandchild against a grandparent.

Usually this takes the form of blocking grandparents’ access to grandchildren, combined with verbal attacks against the targeted grandparent. Of course, grandparents cannot know what is being said about them out of their presence, but when previously affectionate grandchildren become distant or fearful, that could be a red flag.

 

Continue reading “Turning a grandchild against a grandparent”