Parental Alienation kills The examples mentioned here is taken from newspapers or other trusted publications.
I do hope Bedfordshire Social Services have improved their act since these events.
Very little has changed since then over 23 years ago.
I followed their advice and took a step back to my children some space.
All that has happened is that is has allowed the alienation to continue and now 23 years on it is completely irreversible.
There are many parents and children suffering from Parental Alienation. It’s tragic. I know this because my youtube video on the subject has an excessive number of responses…too many people are relating to this issue.
Today, let’s take a look at what’s going on behind the scenes. What motivates the alienator to abuse their children by disapproving of their relationship with the target parent? Hint: Narcissism and PAS are often found in the same scenario…but not always.
PAS is one of the narcissist’s favorite strategies to take control of the children during divorce. Many of the narcissist’s actions are based on fear, insecurity and past trauma. Parental Alienation is no different. Unfortunately, the person they are attempting to pay back (their ex) is not technically the one who ends up damaged. Hurt? Yes, it hurts like hell to be on the receiving end of such bitter and unnecessary disregard. Damaged? No, we aren’t the ones who end up damaged.
Parental alienation is often confused with estrangement, but they are not the same thing.
Estrangement can occur if a parent is abusive or has shortcomings that damage or strain his or her relationship with the child. For example, a parent may have a mental illness or other problem that makes it challenging to communicate with the child in a healthy way. As a result, the child may not want to have much contact with the estranged parent. In such cases, the child will express ambivalence toward the estranged parent.
Parental alienation, on the other hand, is when the actions of one parent intentionally harm the relationship the child has with the other parent. In these cases, the child feels little to no guilt about his negative feelings towards the alienated parent.
This difference is one reason why the clarification in the DSM-5 is important. Clinicians need to be better trained to identify when there is parental alienation, estrangement or both behaviors occurring.
read the full article here:- http://theconversation.com/parental-alienation-what-it-means-and-why-it-matters-60763
The severe effects of parental alienation on children are well-documented; low self esteem and self-hatred, lack of trust, depression, and substance abuse and other forms of addiction are widespread, as children lose the capacity to give and accept love from a parent. Self-hatred is particularly disturbing among affected children, as children internalize the hatred targeted toward the alienated parent, are led to believe that the alienated parent did not love or want them, and experience severe guilt related to betraying the alienated parent. Their depression is rooted is feelings of being unloved by one of their parents, and from separation from that parent, while being denied the opportunity to mourn the loss of the parent, or to even talk about the parent.
read the complete article here:-https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children
By Amy J.L. Baker, PhD, and Katherine Andre, PhD
Divorce affects one million new children every year. Of these children, approximately 20% of their parents remain in conflict, with little, if any, cooperation (Garrity & Baris, 1994; Kelly, 2005). When children get caught in the middle of parental conflict, they are at risk for many psychosocial problems, including alignment with one parent against the other (e.g., Amato, 1994; Johnston, 1994; Wallerstein, Lewis, & Blakeslee, 2001; Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1996). Especially problematic is when the alignment becomes so entrenched that children join forces with one parent to completely reject and denigrate the other, once-loved parent (Darnall, 1998; Wallerstein & Kelly 1980; Warshak, 2001).
Parents who encourage such alignments employ parental alienation (PA) strategies designed to turn a child against the other, targeted parent. The alienating parent is often filled with hatred, blame, anger, and shame and lacks awareness of the separate and independent needs of the children to have a relationship with the other parent (Ellis, 2005; Gardner, 1998; Rand, 1997). Through various strategies such as bad-mouthing, limiting contact, belittling, and withdrawing love, the alienating parent creates the impression that the targeted parent is dangerous, unloving, or unworthy, thus compelling the child to reject that parent (Baker, 2007a; Baker & Darnall, 2006). At its most extreme, when a child completely rejects the targeted parent, the result is referred to as severe alienation or parental alienation syndrome (PAS) (Gardner, 1998). Continue reading “WORKING WITH ALIENATED CHILDREN AND THEIR TARGETED PARENTS:”
Kenneth H. Waldron, Ph.D. and David E. Joanis, J.D.
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a special case of postdivorce conflict in which one parent appears to go to great lengths, at times including making fictitious allegations of physical and/or sexual abuse, to turn a child(1) against the other parent. Dr. Richard Gardner first described PAS in an article and then later in a book and portions of another.(2) Earlier researchers had rioted similar processes in families (for example, the “medea complex” described by Wallerstein and Kelly in the late 1970s), and professionals working with divorcing families easily recognized the syndrome, sometimes described as brainwashing, presented by Gardner. That his “syndrome” was so readily adopted is less a testament to Dr. Gardner’s “discovery” than to his conceptualizing a familiar type of high-conflict divorcing family problem that is complex, perplexing, very resistant to change; and sometimes tragic.
Gardner’s conceptualization of the problem and the dynamics underlying the problem proved at best incomplete, if not simplistic and erroneous. He portrays the alienating parent as virtually solely responsible for the dynamic, turning the vulnerable child against the innocent target parent. More extensive research on the topic(3) has more clearly established the complex involvement and motives of all of the actors in this disastrous family drama. Each of the family members takes a role in the alienation process, which usually begins well before the divorce event. It should be kept in mind that not all instances in which a child is rejecting a parent following a parental separation reflect PAS. In some families, the child rejects a parent based on the child’s actual experiences with that parent. There are very likely many children in intact families who wish to avoid or reject one of the parents based on that parent’s behavior. A parental separation may simply raise such a wish to the public level.
Contextual factors can be used to detect the presence or absence of PAS. These factors fall on a continuum in the normal curve in all families. The factors that make up PAS may exist in many divorcing families to varying degrees, but they come together and pass a fulcrum point in a few. When PAS becomes the dominant family process, children reject a parent outright and the stage is set for gut-wrenching allegations, extreme resistance, threatened “move-aways,” and often a great deal of litigation.
If you think a child is in immediate danger and you live in the UK, contact the police on emergency number 999 or call the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000.
If you suspect a child may be at risk but not in imminent danger contact your local children’s social services.
ChildLine – telephone 0800 1111
Women’s Aid call 0808 2000 247 or http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
UK Mankind available at http://www.mankind.org.uk/ A web site for male survivors of domestic abuse
Family Law Society http://familylawsociety.org
Parents 4 Protest http://www.parents4protest.co.uk/
Equal Parenting Alliance http://www.equalparentingalliance.com
The Association of Shared Parenting http://www.sharedparenting.f9.co.uk/
The Centre for Separated Families http://www.separatedfamilies.info
The Custody Minefield http://www.thecustodyminefield.com
UK Council for Psychotherapy http://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/
British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy http://www.bacp.co.uk/
MIND info-line 0300 123 3393 http://firstname.lastname@example.org
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Here are some articles written for Welldoing.org by SoRECS trustee, Jane McGregor, which discuss sociopathic abuse and why often we don’t help each other out.