Obsessed alienators operate from a delusional system where every cell of their body is committed to destroying the other parent’s relationship with the child.
In the case of the Obsessed alienator, no treatment exists other than removing the child from their influence.
Here are some scenarios that could be by themselves issues or combined together to make these alienators who they are and why they do what they do.
- The alienator is so filled with anger, rage and hatred that they cannot see any further past that and their whole entire world is wrapped around making sure the other person hurts as much as they do. It is like they are blinded by their anger and hatred.
- They were raised in a home where one of their parents was an alienator and it is the only thing they know about relationships, that is one person controls everyone and if you do not have control, then you are nothing. So they would not know how to have a relationship any other way nor would they know how to handle it any other way when they loose control over everyone, because to not be in total control means that you are a looser.
- The alienator could have such low self-esteem that anyone putting them down or any inference that anything they were involved in was a failure, such as their marriage, would set them off, fighting to defend their honour and reputation. They are so protective of their image, that they will do anything to make sure that they stay looking like the perfect person and destroy everyone else around them to maintain that image.
- The alienators own parents put them down constantly and told them they would never amount to much and when their own marriage fails, they are desperate to prove their parents were wrong and will do anything to make it look like it was not their fault.
- The alienator’s have warped views of themselves from low self- esteem issues. It puts them in such a fragile state of fear that they are no good unless they are seen as all good.
- The alienator cannot accept responsibility for their actions and blame them on everyone else because how could they possibly be wrong. Everyone else is wrong.
- The alienator is so narcissistic in their beliefs that they are never wrong, to protect that image, they must make sure that they are always on top and that it is everyone’s problem or fault.
- The alienator was never taught to take responsibility for their own actions and to be humble when they have made a mistake. They were raised that they could do no wrong, just like their own parent/s could do not wrong and thus it is everyone else who is wrong and so Instead they were raised to blame everyone else for their mistakes.
- The alienator is so terrified of loosing their children that they have to paint this perfect picture of themselves and make the other person look so bad, to ensure that they do not loose their children and control.
- The alienator is so terrified that they are not lovable that they force others to love them.
- The alienator is not a real good sharer. In other words, they do not know how to share love and happiness. Maybe because they had to share their parents and never got to understand that sharing is a good thing and feels really good to do.
- The alienator often believes that by gaining total control of the children prior to any property settlement that they will benefit financially from same and that they will recieve maximum ongoing financial support from agencies like child support and social security should they have significant custody of the children.
- It is usually the alienator that ends the relationship with the other parent and looks to justify their decission to friends and family by making out the other parent was at fault and not worthy of any consideration in the process, they cannot accept responsability for their own actions.
- The alienator may have a disorder such as borderline personality disorder.
read the complete article here:- http://www.parentalalienation.com.au/