My nine years in hell while dad fought for the right to see me
So much for fields of gold. Looks like the six children of pop singer Sting won’t be getting much out of their old man, whose estimated worth has been placed at around $300 million.
The 62-year-old musician didn’t put this message in a bottle: He told the press. In an interview published this past weekend in England’s Mail on Sunday newspaper, Sting—f.k.a. Gordon Sumner—explained that he wasn’t planning on leaving any trust funds for his progeny. “I told them there won’t be much money left because we are spending it,” the paper reported him saying.
Beyond explaining that much of his money is already committed, the former Police frontman also said he wouldn’t want an inheritance to be “albatrosses round their necks.”
“Obviously, if they were in trouble I would help them,” he added. “But I’ve never really had to do that. They have the work ethic that makes them want to succeed on their own merit.”
He’s not the only celebrity who has decided against giving his entire fortune to his kids. Below are 10 other boldface names who’ve either said they’ll write their kids out of their wills or give them only a small slice of their very big pies. (Many of these folks are disinheriting their kids for humanitarian reasons.)
Of course, you don’t have to have mega-bucks to be concerned about how your kids will handle an inheritance. A fairly recent survey from WealthCounsel found that 35% of people are crafting their estate plans to avoid mismanagement of money by their heirs. But if that’s your worry, keep in mind that there are things you can do to ensure that your kid doesn’t squander your hard-earned funds.
On a Reddit “Ask Me Anything,” the Microsoft founder said that he thinks leaving his kids massive amounts of money would be no favor to them. Inspired by Warren Buffett, he plans to leave the vast majority of his fortune to charity—he has his own, The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. With Buffett, he has has encouraged other billionaires to give away their wealth.
The Berkshire Hathaway boss man hasn’t been shy about his distaste for leaving an inheritance to his family members. “I’m not an enthusiast for dynastic wealth, particularly when 6 billion others have much poorer hands than we do in life,” he reportedly said at a 2006 event following his announcement to donate the vast majority of his fortune. Since then, Buffett has pledged to give away a full 99% of his money to charity, and has encouraged other billionaires to give away at least 50% of their wealth through The Giving Pledge.
The former Mayor of New York City, who made his fortune as owner of the financial information company that bears his name and who has two daughters in their 30s, signed Buffett’s and Gates’s Giving Pledge. In his letter, he said, “If you want to do something for your children and show how much you love them, the single best thing—by far—is to support organizations that will create a better world for them and their children.” The Bloomberg Philanthropic Foundation donates to various causes, ranging from health care to literacy.
The eBay founder and father of three stated in 2001 that he and his wife would give away the vast majority of their wealth during their lives. “We have more money than our family will ever need,” he has written. “There’s no need to hold onto it when it can be put to use today, to help solve some of the world’s most intractable problems.” He and his wife started the Humanity United Foundation which supports anti-slavery nonprofits.
After selling the Star Wars franchise to Disney for $4.5 billion in 2012, George Lucas—father to four—saidthat the proceeds from the sale would be donated towards improving education. That echoed his commitment to give up the majority of his wealth in his 2012 Giving Pledge letter: “As long as I have the resources at my disposal, I will seek to raise the bar for future generations of students of all ages.”
In 1990, Turner set up the Turner Foundation, which gives grants on environmental causes, as a family foundation so that his children could also be involved in charitable work. He then launched the United Nations Foundation with an initial pledge of $1 billion back in 1997. The media mogul writes, “At the time of my death, virtually all my wealth will have gone to charity.”
Last year, the X Factor judge and music mogul, who has a 16-month-old son, told the press that he doesn’t believe in passing on wealth from one generation to another. Rather, he plans to leave his money to charity, likely benefiting “kids and dogs.”
The Canadian businessman and investor, known for being a judge on the ABC series Shark Tank, said in an interview that he isn’t planning on passing any wealth on to his kids. “If you don’t start out your life with the fear of not being able to feed yourself and your family, then what motivates you to go get a job?” he said. “Fear motivated me, and it will motivate them.” He said that once they’re educated, he’ll kick his kids out of the nest, though he says he will set up generation-skipping trusts for his grandkids and great grandkids.
The 60-year-old actor has said that he will leave his wealth to charity, and none of it to his son. “He can make his own money,” he reportedly told the press. Chan is a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, campaigns against animal abuse and started the Jackie Chan Charitable Foundation, which supports education and disaster relief.
The celebrity chef, who divorced advertising tycoon Charles Saatchi last year, reportedly told the British magazine My Weekly that once her kids finish college,they will have to work and support themselves. “I am determined that my children should have no financial security,” she was quoted as saying. “It ruins people not having to earn money.” But she denies that they’ll be cut out of her will entirely, saying she has no plans to leave them destitute and starving.
In practice you cannot avoid the courts totally, but they should be used as a last resort.
Though you may not gain much by going to court, you can use the courts for your own purpose to some extent. Typically they are places that muddle along without much sense of purpose. Papers get lost, hearings are cancelled at the last moment, they fail to pass on Court Welfare reports to the father, fax and phone calls don’t get answered, and any help you get from the court services will be incidental. All of this can be extremely frustrating, and the longer you go without seeing your children the worse the situation gets.
It is likely that the mother will get legal aid while the father does not. The mother’s solicitor will generally assume that you will put your case forward in the court, but if you do not have a solicitor you can write many letters to her solicitor in such a way that much of the case is presented prior to it coming to court.
For example, if the mother has cancelled your contact time on trivial excuses you might write a stream of letters to him pointing out the various ploys she has used to stop contact. Having put these in writing he has to pass them onto your ex-partner who then has to refute them, explain them, or ignore them. Whatever she does can be used as evidence. It is also a way of stating her behaviour to her solicitor, which may well contradict her version of events to him. Though this is a psychological ‘game’ it is one that is part of the normal pattern of events.
My children have refused to communicate with me for several years and I’m considering cutting them out of my will. Why would I be generous to children who won’t have anything to do with me?
Should I tell my children now that I intend to cut them out of my will?
Mary Beth Caschetta and her father never saw eye to eye, but she didn’t think he would cut her out of his will.
The 46-year-old writer left home when she was young, came out as a lesbian and had a stormy correspondence with her conservative father in the 1990s about his favoring her eldest brother. By the time he died in 2009, they had long since reconciled. So she was devastated to discover she had been disinherited and that her three brothers had gotten everything — 330 acres of real estate near Rochester, New York, worth up to $1 million. Her eldest brother gained complete control of the estate.
Inheritance disputes are as old as the Bible — see Jacob and Esau. But now a broad, deep wave of acrimony is hitting the U.S. as 76 million baby boomers, born after 1946, inherit estates or die. According to one study by MetLife, boomers stand to inherit upwards of $8.4 trillion.
Making the Right Decisions about Inheritance and Money
Sometimes I wonder why such dysfunctional adults can be allowed to make decisions regarding children, but the secret to success for those who are parental abusers, (also known as “alienating parents”) is their appearance of being absolutely normal on the surface.
However, bubbling below the surface and now quite so well hidden is their true psychological profile, which psychological testing reveals. Often times they call themselves “protective parents” or “survivors” or “battered” and viciously blame the courts for turning children over to “abusers.” But when asked why the “abusive” parent is not in jail, the sociopath quickly describes “payoffs“, “bribes” and “court corruption” with “collusion” thrown in to save the “abuser” and to “ignore” the evidence. Also they are big into playing the “victim” role and…
View original post 3,513 more words
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY SUCH DYSFUNCTIONAL ADULTS CAN BE ALLOWED TO MAKE DECISIONS REGARDING CHILDREN, BUT THE secret to success FOR THOSE WHO ARE PARENTAL ABUSERS, (ALSO KNOWN AS “alienating parents”) IS THEIR APPEARANCE OF BEING ABSOLUTELY NORMAL ON THE SURFACE…. PARENTAL ALIENATORS WILL DELIBERATELY MAKE UP FALSEHOODS, DECEIVE, DELAY, AND PLAY THE VICTIM…..THESE SICK INDIVIDUALS ENJOY CONTROLLING OTHERS AND “winning,” AND CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT OF hostility ANDbitterness. ALTHOUGH OUTWARDLY THEY MAY BE SEEN AS SUCCESSFUL, CHARMING AND WINNING IN THE CAREERS, “THESE ORDINARY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO CONSCIENCE–NO CAPACITY TO FEEL SHAME, GUILT, OR REMORSE–CAN DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING TO OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT EVER FEELING GUILTY . “victim”HTTPS://MKG4583.WORDPRESS.COM/2009/07/22/SEVERE-SOCIOPATH-BEHAVIOR-LEADS-TO-PARENTAL-ALIENATION/