Posted in Alienation

5 Possible Signs of Teenage Sociopathy

How many signs would you need from an adolescent to convince you that he or she could develop into a sociopathic adult? What specific incident or incidents would cause you to identify a teenager as a developing sociopath?

  1. Set fires, play with fire: Children will be children. Teens will be teens. Sometimes they exhibit behaviors that are just difficult for them to grow out of and that cause the family a lot of stress. But then there are other kids who simply enjoy watching things burn up; setting curtains, bedding, or other household items ablaze. Pyromania is often the technical term for individuals who enjoy the sight of fire. Some kids, very much like adults who struggle with addiction, are addicted to the act of setting things on fire. For these kids, the continual act of setting things on fire will require the professional attention of a mental health therapist. Just telling these kids to stop is often not enough.
  2. Harm pets: I have spoken to parents who were very disturbed by an incident involving their child and their pet (or a pet). Children who are developing sociopathic traits engage in harming pets, typically the family dog or cat. I have observed kids who intentionally harm animals out of sheer hatred, opposition to a rule or expectation of an adult, sexually inappropriate fantasies, or fun. Examples of harming pets include squeezing them too tightly in an attempt to choke the animal, physically assaulting the animal, being intimate with an animal, refusing to feed the animal, or teasing or taunting the animal.
  3. Steal: As stated above, kids often engage in behaviors and habits that are difficult to break. But some kids seem more interested in associating with peers who enjoy assaulting the public with inappropriate behaviors such as stealing. Examples of stealing include stealing money, food, or other items from the community, home, or school environment. Some kids may choose to steal from elderly people, other kids, or strangers in the community. Some kids may also plan how they will steal from someone and decide on what items to steal. The stealing behavior is calculative.
  4. Frequently lie: Pathological lying is a topic that I often discuss with clients and readers of my blogs and articles. It is a topic that many people find interesting. Sadly, there isn’t a lot of research on child and adolescent pathological lying. However, I do discuss this topic in more depth here. Lying behaviors in children and teens may include lying about homework, lying about others, or changing bits and pieces of a story to make part of it true and the other part a lie.
  5. Engage in calculating, manipulative behavior with the intent of harming others: Kids and teens who calculate and manipulate in order to harm others are often the most frightening. Why? Because they are cloaked with the innocence of their youth and are often given the benefit of the doubt by adults. Who would want to see their own child or adolescent as one with evil intent? But it is important for you to understand that some kids and teens are genetically “pre-wired” to possess manipulative and calculating behaviors and thought patterns. For example, juvenile sex offenders are often asked, in therapy, to discuss how they planned to sexually assault their victim. Some juvenile sex offenders have expressed that they “groomed” their victim (treated the victim kindly) before they offended them. These offenders knew that with kindness they would ultimately get what they wanted.

Posted in Alienation

A Sociopath’s Fairy Tale

Some sociopaths even kill ex-partners and spouses simply to avoid a messy and expensive separation or divorce.  To a sociopath, a person is an object to be manipulated for their purposes—nothing more.

Perhaps original fairy tales were designed to be disturbing and unsettling.  There are dangerous people in the world.  They may even be disguised as friends and family. Yet, there often are subtle warning signs. Your best defense against such people is to know that they exist and are brilliant, patient actors.  Listen to your intuition! Remember, Little Red Riding Hood pushed aside her fear when she heard her grandmother’s altered voice.  Her fear was a gift. She should have embraced it, listened to it and never opened the door.

read the full article here:-

Posted in Alienation

The Changes Psychopaths Can Make

Frequently I’m asked, can psychopathic individuals be treated? Can they make positive changes?Psychopathic individuals cannot be treated, if by “treated” we refer to outcomes in which the psychopath becomes non-psychopathic.And the reason is basic–psychopaths are missing something that’s just impossible to play “catch-up development” on: especially, a reasonably formed conscience.The permanent disability of their conscience ensures the permanence of their psychopathy (or “psychopathic mentality”).But psychopaths being people, they are driven by all sorts of incentives. And so psychopaths can have incentives to make changes. And they often maintain a certain volitional control over many of their even psychopathically-driven behaviors.But remember this: the psychopath making “positive changes” will not be doing it for you, not really. Any “positive changes” he may elect to make will be made for him.

Source: The Changes Psychopaths Can Make

Posted in Alienation

The coercive survey takes off … Have you done it yet?!

Source: The coercive survey takes off … Have you done it yet?!

Posted in Alienation

No- You can’t come home- Alienation and emotionally disturbed children

Source: No- You can’t come home- Alienation and emotionally disturbed children

Posted in Alienation

Psychopathy’s Influence

Many psychopathic fathers use hostile devices such as their failure to financially support, lying and distortion throughout the legal process, threats of violence or kidnapping, refusal to co-parent in the child’s best interest, bad-mouthing the mother in the child’s presence, abandonment, and more. They can play a cruel game of beat the system over the financial support the child needs. They could simply want to get even with the mother. They could fear that their past misdeeds will be exposed as they move on with their lives….. after all, they can’t have the nasty truth following them around. So they go to great lengths to discredit the mother and shut both her and the child out of their lives.

A mother whose priority is the child may be bullied into the silence necessary to insure their protection.  But, the child is deprived the supportive nurture by both parents that would encourage their growth into emotionally intact adults. Children who are financially, emotionally or physically abandoned by a psychopathic parent are at risk to become abandoners themselves, particularly if their own ability to bond is hampered by their genetics.

That is not to say that all children who are alienated are psychopathic, but children who are psychopathic are more readily alienated.

Will love conquer all?

Children will not be children all their lives. Real love between a child and a mother cannot be broken. And a child who is alienated, but truly loves the mother, may ultimately find their way back when the external force that keeps them separated has less influence.

Love, by its very nature, is forgiving. When anger occurs, the basic character of love will enable a separation to be repaired. Even in normal parent/child relationships, there could be moments when the two separate from discord, but their loving concern for each other will enable them to forgive and makeup. This is not true of children who are inherently incapable of bonding. They will find pleasure in inflicting harm and will perpetuate their anger in order to do so.

Because of the information that is now available on the internet, society has become more aware of the facts concerning the creation and existence of psychopathy and sociopathy. Often, when mothers are faced with children who, even upon maturity fail to be motivated by love for them, it’s necessary to recognize the cold fact that the child could be a psychopath. Signs include significant difficulty raising them with childhood episodes of delinquency, animal mutilation, expulsion from schools, gross disrespect for authority, inappropriate impulsivity, rule-breaking, oppositional/defiant behavior, etc.

You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them!

A rift with an emotionally disordered child can feel like a double edged sword. While having their disturbing behavior out of your life can make you feel safe, the pain of loss is no less heart wrenching. In fact, it may be greater because you recognize they’re unlikely to ever bond.

Just as a husband can’t be cured of his psychopathy, your adult child can’t be cured of it either, and certainly not by you; particularly when their cruelty is directed at you in the most heinous fashion a mother could endure…. their deliberate absence from your life. They simply have no heart, no empathy, no conscience, no caring, and their love for you is as shallow as what you can do for them.

A split with a mature child, one that should know better, tragically succeeds in ripping the bond you feel with them to shreds. But how do you allow someone who deliberately hurts you at your very core to return to your life? Indeed, they are toxic to you. The best you can do is to tell them, “I love you more than life itself, but I’m through playing your hurtful game. So no, you can’t close this rift. Not until you recognize who you are, what you’ve done, and take convincing steps toward change.”

Loving your child should never include subjecting yourself to their intentional harm.

Taken from:-

Posted in Alienated children, True Stories

True stories of Alienation

Here are excerpts (12 mins long) from a longer video (35 mins) made by PACT of three adults telling the full stories of their family separation in their childhood onwards. In their cases the active alienation (two by mothers, one by a father) is added to big geographical moves or abduction. Watch the full video [here:…%5D. In it they tell stories of happy relationships with both parents with no risk or abuse to them as children; then of parental conflict, and of separation. In these excerpts they describe how the alienation happens, and the life-long detrimental outcomes

Posted in Alienation

Cult of parenting

Parental alienation is sometimes called the ‘cult of parenting’. This is because alienated children end up believing unquestionably the alienating parent and reject totally and unreasonably, any other perspective just as though they were in a cult and following without question a cult leader who totally defines their world.

This is sometimes called the ‘independent thinker’ phenomena.

There is enough research to show that the best outcomes for cult members occur when they finally take responsibility for their lives and leave the cult.

No amount of shouting to them from the outside is as effective as taking personal responsibility.

Posted in Alienation

Letting go may be the last and best thing you can do for your alienated children

Letting go may be the last and best thing you can do for your alienated children. Letting go is not about making your alienated children comfortable nor validating their unreasonable and irrational behaviour toward you.

At some point, you and your alienated children have to stop being victims.

Letting go is about affirming that both you and your alienated children are making a decision for which each of you must assume responsibility and accept its consequences. Until now, your children have not experienced any consequences for their behaviour toward you. Letting go lets them know that they are choosing this outcome and therefore they also have the choice to choose differently. This is the example that you are setting. There is plenty of research now that demonstrates that sometimes the one thing that helps alcohol and drug dependent people, people trapped in cults and others enduring self- destructive behaviours is a choice and responsibility to live differently, to reject the programming from others.

read the full article here

Posted in Alienation

Giving Up – Or Letting Go?

Taken from

Letting go is also affirming that whilst you and in particular your children have suffered a terrible and outrageous loss, you and your self-esteem are not destroyed and not solely dependent upon a relationship between you and your children.

The alienating parent often cannot own this. Letting go is your opportunity to differentiate yourself completely from the alienating parent rather than simply being the opposite. Letting go is the point at which you stop being a powerless victim.

It is the point when you realise that you have to draw a line under a relationship (or loss of a relationship) with your children that has become futile, that cannot develop any further and which the alienating parent is defining by their emotional manipulation.

Letting go is an opportunity for you to change the game. It is about saying goodbye to a relationship with your children that has come to an end with the possibility of saying hello to a new one at some point in the future when you and especially your children are in a different space.

Your alienated children may well be adults by that time, may be more independent and differentiated and may even have families of their own.

Sometimes significant life events in your children’s lives, and indeed your own, such as re-partnering, ending a long-term relationship, children, or loss of a loved one may trigger a re-evaluation of how you arrived at the place you are now at.

A new relationship cannot always be built on the wreckage of the old one. Metaphorically, it is sometimes better to demolish the house and build a new one rather than to attempt to renovate a house that is already condemned.

Letting go, leaves your children with the provocative question about how they could love you at the same time acknowledge and assume responsibility for the awful things they have done to you. They will have to engage this question for their own mental and emotional health at some point in their lives.

This is your opportunity to have some power in the game and to empower your alienated children. You can do this by making a decision to let go at the same time reinforcing your children’s responsibility for their choice.

Giving up is none of this. When you give up you abandon your alienated children to their fate, leaving you and them disempowered victims.

Giving up affirms your powerlessness and your weakness in the face of the overwhelming power and influence of the alienating parent. It demonstrates to the children that they were not worth your love and demonstrates to yourself that you are not worth much either.

When you give up you shut the door on the possibility of a new and different relationship later in the children’s lives. It is final. It is very difficult to explain to your children later in their lives why you abandoned them.