Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Psychopathy’s Influence

Many psychopathic fathers use hostile devices such as their failure to financially support, lying and distortion throughout the legal process, threats of violence or kidnapping, refusal to co-parent in the child’s best interest, bad-mouthing the mother in the child’s presence, abandonment, and more. They can play a cruel game of beat the system over the financial support the child needs. They could simply want to get even with the mother. They could fear that their past misdeeds will be exposed as they move on with their lives….. after all, they can’t have the nasty truth following them around. So they go to great lengths to discredit the mother and shut both her and the child out of their lives.

A mother whose priority is the child may be bullied into the silence necessary to insure their protection.  But, the child is deprived the supportive nurture by both parents that would encourage their growth into emotionally intact adults. Children who are financially, emotionally or physically abandoned by a psychopathic parent are at risk to become abandoners themselves, particularly if their own ability to bond is hampered by their genetics.

That is not to say that all children who are alienated are psychopathic, but children who are psychopathic are more readily alienated.

Will love conquer all?


Children will not be children all their lives. Real love between a child and a mother cannot be broken. And a child who is alienated, but truly loves the mother, may ultimately find their way back when the external force that keeps them separated has less influence.

Love, by its very nature, is forgiving. When anger occurs, the basic character of love will enable a separation to be repaired. Even in normal parent/child relationships, there could be moments when the two separate from discord, but their loving concern for each other will enable them to forgive and makeup. This is not true of children who are inherently incapable of bonding. They will find pleasure in inflicting harm and will perpetuate their anger in order to do so.

Because of the information that is now available on the internet, society has become more aware of the facts concerning the creation and existence of psychopathy and sociopathy. Often, when mothers are faced with children who, even upon maturity fail to be motivated by love for them, it’s necessary to recognize the cold fact that the child could be a psychopath. Signs include significant difficulty raising them with childhood episodes of delinquency, animal mutilation, expulsion from schools, gross disrespect for authority, inappropriate impulsivity, rule-breaking, oppositional/defiant behavior, etc.

You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them!

A rift with an emotionally disordered child can feel like a double edged sword. While having their disturbing behavior out of your life can make you feel safe, the pain of loss is no less heart wrenching. In fact, it may be greater because you recognize they’re unlikely to ever bond.

Just as a husband can’t be cured of his psychopathy, your adult child can’t be cured of it either, and certainly not by you; particularly when their cruelty is directed at you in the most heinous fashion a mother could endure…. their deliberate absence from your life. They simply have no heart, no empathy, no conscience, no caring, and their love for you is as shallow as what you can do for them.

A split with a mature child, one that should know better, tragically succeeds in ripping the bond you feel with them to shreds. But how do you allow someone who deliberately hurts you at your very core to return to your life? Indeed, they are toxic to you. The best you can do is to tell them, “I love you more than life itself, but I’m through playing your hurtful game. So no, you can’t close this rift. Not until you recognize who you are, what you’ve done, and take convincing steps toward change.”

Loving your child should never include subjecting yourself to their intentional harm.

Taken from:-http://rapebyfraud.com/2015/09/21/no-you-cant-come-home-alienation-and-emotionally-disturbed-children/

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Living the dream in SW France-Retired Love Swimming, Rambling, Labrador's, Pilates, Photography, Astronomy, Reiki, Travelling. Currently studying Psychology, and member of NAAP. I believe in truth, honesty, karma and integrity! KEEPING IT REAL - No one likes someone who lies and lives a different life on social media than they do in real life. ≧◔◡◔≦

5 thoughts on “Psychopathy’s Influence

  1. It’s important not to lose sight of that fact that psychopathic mothers can also use hostile devices. In my case, that meant being arrested under fictitious charges, being made homeless and penniless and that’s just for starters. I’ve also been subject to a smear campaign which has resulted in ‘losing’ my family – brothers, sisters nieces and nephews, the lot – and my friends no longer speak to me. What else? I left ‘home’ –not of my own volition, you understand – with one small bag of clothes and not much else. I’ve since attempted to retrieve my belongings, to no avail. I was bullied into family court, bullied at family court and I’ve been largely ignored ever since. In the beginning of this dreadful saga, I had limited access given to our son only for it to be taken away, at whim.

    And why would any woman go to such drastic and destructive lengths to keep a man out of her life? The simple answer, to provide a smoke screen for all the harm she inflicted on our son. You read that correctly. The mother in question, exposed our son to a litany of injurious events which included but were not limited: cracking his head against a door frame, feeding him alcohol laden milk and taking certain drugs postnatally whilst breastfeeding (to control post-natal weight gain, of all things). She also left our baby boy, as a newborn, on the middle step of the stairs at home. He rolled for the first time, tumbled down the remaining stairs and cracked his head on the hard tiled floor of the hall. The worst incident, however, was when Mum, dropped our son, from height onto a hardwood floor head first. That incident resulted in a huge contusion on the back of his head for which he was immediately hospitalised. His personality didn’t return to normal for some weeks after that. He mostly looked ‘vacant’. They were distressing times.
    My first mistake was to discuss these acts of neglect with the NSPCC. I didn’t know who else to turn to. My second mistake was talking to Mum about that telephone call afterwards. She saw red – a deep burning rage, more like – and being a highly paid solicitor she made all the necessary calls to ‘dispose’ of me as quickly possible. From her point of view, having the truth exposed was not an option, I suppose. What made the situation worse and significantly more difficult to bear is that ‘Mum’ was and still is a career woman through and through (nothing wrong there) and for that reason, it was her idea that I became a stay at home dad. It’s something I’d never before considered, but as it turned it I took to it well and became one of the best stay-at-homers in the business. Worse of all though is that our son has now been without his Papa for just about two years and two months. My no mistake, some women as well as some men can exhibit psychopathic traits. These people have the uncanny ability to destroy lives. They do it effortlessly and without remorse. (See Mikey Mouse and The Bump Into People Land Project for more: https://andrewjameshayward.wordpress.com)

    Best regards, Andy.

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    1. Hi Andy, Thank you for sharing your story, people point the finger, judge and find it difficult to comprehend that parents and partners carry out such atrocities but like you I have witnessed unbelievable acts of cruelty from both Mothers and Fathers its nothing to do with gender! Like you confided in people I thought I could trust only to discover the knives in my back.
      I am 25 years down the line and so it goes on with grandchildren too. My children are now adults and my daughter a parent and they still choose to continue with the alienation/estrangement.
      Some people say walk away, others say never give up. Recently I am inclined to let go, rather than give up as life is so short to fight something you cannot change. Keep writing and sharing, knowledge is a powerful thing.
      Thank you

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      1. I’m taken aback, shocked, by your story. 25 years! How have you coped? That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m only a little 2 years in and I can tell you for sure, my journey thus far has been an onerous one. That knowledge you refer to has been hard earned, painfully acquired. I’d give it back in an instant, that and much more besides, to have my son back in my life. Twenty-five years. That’s a BIG number to swallow. So big, right now, I can’t seem to move past it. There’s no easy answer with situations like these. Walk away, let go, give-up, fight? No alienated parent asked to be without their child, which serves as a reminder that we aren’t the guilty ones: They are, the alienators, that is. Culpability is there’s not ours. Ultimately, we’re left with Hobsons Choice. We’re perpetually caught between a rock and hard place. If we stay and fight, there’s an oh-so-slim-chance that we might be reunited with a child, but that comes at a heavy cost: to us and potentially to them too. On the up side, onlookers might congratulate us for at least trying. Some consolation! On the flip side, if we walk away, there’s little chance of ever being reunited with a child, which also comes at heavy cost: equally to us as parents and to the child caught at the centre. The up side here is that we might – just might –find a place of peace, sufficient peace to live out the remainder of our lives. It’s a long shot, for sure. I remind myself that Psychopathic parents, alienators – call them what you will – aren’t interested in win-win scenarios. Their primary goal is to win on every front, no matter the cost. The emotional welfare of a son or daughter is inconsequential, collateral damage. Don’t make the mistake, however, of assuming that the emotional welfare of the alienated, parent is “off the radar”. Quite the contrary. The blip representing the alienated parent is omnipresent on their scope. The more the other parent suffers, emotionally, financially and otherwise, the brighter that blip flashes. That’s their game. They scoop up the spoils, take the good stuff and leave you with, well, nothing… I haven’t made my mind up yet which bad choice I should make. I don’t envy anyone making a similar decision. For now, the way I ‘fight’ is to write, which, at times, seems like an empty gesture. It’s something, but…but, no comfort in comparison with what I’ve lost.
        The kindest of regards. A.

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      2. Hi Andy, You dont have to make the choice, let the choice just happen! My daughter did come back into my life after 9 years for some time to allow me to get to know my grandson, then at the flick of a button it was happening all over again. Most of our meetings and together times were in secret to begin with. I would often see the panic in my daughters eyes if she thought her father knew, then she lost her fear and became open about it, this was the fatal mistake!

        My son however is a different story, 15 years before I saw him again. He came to live with my now husband and I for a few short weeks before his father distorted everything and turned him against us.

        All I can imagine is that the father is in a very dark bad place to continue with this for so many years. My children are now 39 and 37, they know where I am, occasionally I discover a new address or telephone number and keep trying to contact them to no avail.

        25 years ago there was not a label for PA, and solicitors and courts did not recognize PA, to be honest in my naivety neither did I.

        If I were in your shoes with the age of your son I would use the services of https://karenwoodall.wordpress.com/ Karen Woodall who has run the family separation clinic for many years and has a good success rate in reuniting children and parents.There was know one around like Karen 25 years ago and without internet and social media support was hard to find.

        Write a journal of all the good things and keep as many photos as possible to remind your son when you next see him of all the good times. Sadly when I spoke to my children years ago they said they could not remember anything before the age of 11 and 13 when it all happened, every birthday, holiday etc wiped from the memory banks. My daughter told me that her father had destroyed every photo, even the baby ones and he would not allow me to take any before we separated. So I have nothing but memories, the truth, and my pride to hold onto which no one can take from me.

        I stopped suffering emotionally and financially many years ago and have a new life as just me, not the alienated parent, not the divorced wife! My story is now my future, not even sure how much longer I will go on with this site. I do not want to be known as the 25 years alienated parent.

        I wish my children and grandchildren all the happiness in the world, and hope my ex finds a cure for his illness one day so that even he can live in peace and harmony.

        Keep writing, stay positive, you have not lost him, there are many experts out there who may be able to help, wish they were around when I needed help. PM me if you would like more details.

        Linda

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