Covert Emotional Incest & Identity Loss
Covert emotional incest causes obsessions, compulsions and many emotion-driven behaviors, including:
- Identification: You express another person’s emotions
- Inner Child: Some part of you is split-off – you can be childish
- Identity Conflict: You swing between extremes – you live in conflict
- Lost Identity: You cannot express yourself – your life lacks meaning
- Relationship Bonds: You are bonded to someone – you are dependent
Emotional incest often accompanies Parental Alienation, in which
(in the mind of a child) one parent hates or alienates the other parent.
Often, such toxic beliefs are taboo – and taboo beliefs cannot be
consciously changed or even considered without help.
Covert emotional incest spans generations … there is no one person who caused it. It usually reflects chains of suffering going back many generations.
Emotional Incest – Signs of Abuse
Solve Emotional Problems
Did a parent try to partner you? Do you cling to fantasies and avoid responsibility (act like a child) or become super-responsible (act like a parent) … or both? If your parents included you in their fights and fantasies, you may be enmeshed in their drama.
Do you strive to fulfill a parent’s unfulfilled desires? If so – you may be diagnosed as having passive aggression, sexual problems, anxiety and/or depression. If you try to fulfill both parents’ conflicting desires. your life may include endless inner conflict.
My husband is a mature man half the time – but he acts like an aggressive child after visiting his mother. When he is mature – life is good … but a few hours with his mother and he becomes an irresponsible, conceited little boy! Washington
If you try to carry ancestral emotional baggage, you will fail. You may find yourself in crisis, depression, obsessions or addictions. Worse, your children will copy you.
I researched the huna healing used by native Hawaiian healers. Some referred toele’ele eke (black bags) of emotions held in the body which cause disease and are difficult to heal except through ho’oponopono – a traditional Hawaiian ritual.
Parents who Abuse Children
Some parents are abusive and manipulative, yet they usually claim good intentions. They often say that they’re doing the best that they know how to do.
My husband was a case of arrested development which made him easy to control. Since your sessions, he is taking more responsibility, but now my teenage son is angrily trying to be the “irresponsible one” in our family. New Mexico
Good intentions can have bad consequences. If a lonely parent loves a child as a substitute for a friend or partner, emotional chaos will follow. The consequences of this abuse includes destructive relationship habits:
- expressing contempt and conceit
- testing people’s acceptance of them
- expressing anger, rejection and emotional chaos
- showing inappropriate affection and inappropriate rejection
Father-bonded women or mother-bonded men may only relate well with other bonded adults. They may find themselves only falling in love with or sexually excited by immature or irresponsible people whom they neither like nor trust … or they may desperately seek immature people who will parent them.
Solutions for Transferences & Negative Emotions
Transferences motivate fixated and addictive relationships. Affected people may suffer negative emotions and relationship problems. They may say, “I don’t know what love is“. For more on this, see mother-son bonds and father-daughter entanglements.
When transferences fail – as they must, being lies – affected people
may seek distractions or drugs to avoid depression. We can
help you resolve emotional and relationship problems.