Someone recently asked me on a forum “how did I feel after 25 years of alienation when I finally turned the corner” .
It was very subtle, no overnight “seeing the light”!!
I began to notice that I no longer felt sad when looking at photos and remembering birthdays, instead I felt quite happy and hoped everyone was fit and well and enjoying life.
My focus seemed to switch from feeling sorry for myself and wondering and asking myself “why did this happen to me”? to, “I can not change this situation” and to try and come from a viewpoint of how would I feel if they lived on the other side of the world and I could not visit them.
I started thinking differently!!
Sometimes I would ask myself – “would I let a friend or member of my family treat me this way”? NO. I would walk away and get on with my life.
Just because they are our children, no law in the land says we have to find this behavior acceptable and live with it.
So a corner was turned, and over a few months of coming out of the closet and openly discussing with friends and family I finally stopped feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, inadequate and all those others things you feel when you are alienated, and I finally started to feel whole and complete again.