Whew, what a title!
I have been thinking a lot as to why a so called parent could encourage a child to disrespect a parent, to have ambivalent feelings and to lie about the other parent. This campaign can even evolve so the child eventually wants nothing to do with the other parent. I keep asking myself, who could do this. Unfortunately the answer is the other parent.
This does not have to happen and most certainly should not be happening, but it does over and over again. This happens usually in high conflict divorce cases involving the custody of the minor children. The children should be having the benefit of a relationship with both parents. In cases where parental alienation is present, the children do not have that healthy relationship with both parents and usually the parent who is the unhealthy parent ends up controlling the minds of the children. This is a sad, but real statistic.
One would deduce that the controlling parent or alienating parent is not normal. I also question what defines normal. Everyone has their own little quirks, beliefs and idiosyncrasies, but does that make one a bad parent. It does to the alienating parent and they will use anything and everything they can to find fault with the target parent. The alienating parent does everything in their power to undermine the relationship the children have with the other parent. Children are suggestible and can eventually succumb to the relentless brainwashing from the alienating parent towards the target parent. The alienating parent exhibits bulling behavior and I believe that alienating parents are takers not givers in any relationship and if they give something it comes with strings attached. They talk the talk but don’t walk the walk.
Children can become angry with a parent as it is just part of growing up. The alienating parent seizes this as an opportunity to escalate the problem into something greater than it is. The alienating parent is always right, never wrong and will never admit any fault to any problem. It is the belief that someone else caused their actions. They make up stories which are a lie, but tell them so convincingly that many believe it as truth. They also project onto others lies as well. If they are abusing the child, they will convince others that it is the target parent who is abusing the child. These lies and circles of so called explanations can and do convince others that they are right.
So where does the word psychopath fit into my entry today? These are some recognized characteristics of psychopathic personality and behavior.
grandiose sense of self worth
need for stimulation/prone to boredom
lack of remorse or guilt
shallow emotional response
callous/lack of empathy
failure to accept responsibility for their own actions
many short term relationships
Well that describes my ex quite a bit. He is charming, charismatic, manipulative, and the life of a party. He deserves more than what he has and has done things in the past to achieve this although not legally. He of course was not caught due to his manipulative ways and lies told. He is always right and of course these problems were due to actions of someone else. He has several marriages now with several extramarital affairs as well. Of course these affairs were the result of whatever current wife he had and the problems she created. Not one of his divorces are because of his actions. He has financial problems from time to time, but as usual those are not from his actions but from someone else. I think many can understand my point.
Alienating parents will profess that they have the best interests of the child at hand, but they are incapable of acting in the best interests of the child. It really takes a very disturbed and obsessed individual to harm a child by brainwashing them and to remove a loving parent from the child’s life.
Parental alienation is child abuse. Stop the abuse.