Posted in Alienation

Our Grandchildren . . . By Lynda Stevens

TODAY AT SCHOOL, WE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT OUR GRANDPARENTS. I DON’T KNOW MINE, SO I WROTE THIS STORY INSTEAD:

12036368_1068846663148862_7930882662708336144_n

One day, at home, I needed some photos for a project at school. My Mom said, “Look in the closet, there’s a whole bunch of albums you can look through.” So I looked through the albums, and came across some I had never seen before. There were some of my Mom when she was a little girl with people I didn’t know. She looked happy and laughing in some of them, so I took them downstairs to ask her who these people are. My Mom seemed to get angry, and told me they were nobody, and to put them back.

Later that day, Mom came into my room to talk to me, and said “I’m sorry I shouldn’t get angry with you”. I asked her again, “Who are they?” And she said they were her parents. She went on to say something that sounded like “a lion ate it from her”. I thought that didn’t sound right, so I said “What does that mean?”

Well, she said “I’m estranged from them” and she explained that this meant that she doesn’t see them anymore. I was confused and asked her “Why?” She said she didn’t want to talk about it anymore, that it happens in a lot of families, and I just had to accept it. Then she stood up, and went downstairs.

At bedtime Mom came to say goodnight, and she saw that I was crying. “What’s the matter?” she asked me, and I didn’t know what to say. “Mom”, I said, “This is a very sad day.” “Why” asked my Mom, and I looked at her and said, “One day I will grow up and have children of my own, and I’m crying now, because they won’t know you”.

Mom looked shocked, and said “Why won’t they know me?” Well, I said, “because we will be estranged.” Mom started crying, and said, “That will never happen, why do you think we will be estranged?”

I looked into Mom’s eyes, the same color as mine, and said, “Because when I grow up, I want to be just like you.”

Mom has been crying a lot lately, I think something is bothering her…

Posted in Alienation

Ask the experts: creating a network of alienation aware parents and professionals

Source: Ask the experts: creating a network of alienation aware parents and professionals

Posted in Alienation

Still Blogging….

Source: Still Blogging….

Posted in Alienation

New Triangulation

Source: New Triangulation

Posted in Alienation

Abolish Parental Alienation In Australia

Petition Background (Preamble):

We are a group of loving Parents, Mums, Dads, Grandparents & family members of children who cannot stand by any more seeing innocent children being deliberately alienated from their family.

Parents who try to alienate their child from his or her other parent convey a three-part message to the child:

(1) I am the only parent who loves you and you need me to feel good about yourself;

(2) the other parent is dangerous and unavailable,

(3) pursuing a relationship with that parent jeopardises your relationship with me. In essence the child receives the message that s/he is worthless and unloved and only of value for meeting the needs of others.

Research with “adult children” of parental alienation syndrome (that is, adults who believe that when they were children one parent turned them against the other parent) confirms that being exposed to parental alienation represents a form of emotional abuse.

Furthermore, these adults reported that when they succumbed to the pressure and rejected one parent to please the other, the experience was associated with several negative long-term effects including depression, drug abuse, divorce, low self-esteem, problems with trusting, and alienation from their own children when they became parents themselves. In this way the cycle of parental alienation was carried forward through the generations.

Thus, parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse that damages the child’s self esteem in the short run and is associated with life-long damage.

Posted in Uncategorized

To make parental alienation recognised in the UK as a criminal offence.-PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION

Parental alienation is child abuse and an abuse of human rights.

Sign this petition

395 signatures

10,000

At 10,000 signatures…

At 10,000 signatures, government will respond to this petition

At 100,000 signatures…

At 100,000 signatures, this petition will be considered for debate in Parliament

CLICK THIS LINK TO SIGN https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/107990

Posted in Alienation

HANDLING PAS

Working with targeted parents Specialists counseling parents who are facing parental alienation need to offer support, education, and guidance. The primary role of the professional is to help the client become educated about parental alienation (what are primary behaviors that turn a child against the other parent) and PAS (what are the behavioral manifestations of an alienated child) so the parent can determine whether this is in fact the problem. These parents should be encouraged to look at themselves and their relationship with their children prior to blaming the other parent for their difficulties

[6]. If parental alienation is indeed present, the targeted parent should be taught a series of responses to parental alienation that can let him/her maintain the high road while not becoming overly passive or reactive. Such parents need ongoing validation and support in dealing with the pain and suffering associated with parental alienation.

Working with alienated children

Professionals who handle alienated children should be careful not to ally with the child against the targeted parent. A second concern is avoiding intimidation or manipulation by the alienating parent. The child should be helped to develop critical thinking skills in order to enhance his/her ability to resist the pressure to choose sides. The targeted parent and the child’s relationship with that parent must be validated for the child. The professional should be a role model who values and respects the targeted parent in order to counter the ongoing message that this parent is inadequate [1].

http://scholar.google.fr/scholar_url?url=http://hassacc.com/archive/%3Fvid%3D1%26aid%3D3%26kid%3D150201-25%26q%3Df1&hl=en&sa=X&scisig=AAGBfm1rkAhGtOwj5S6GaCNyDcXi81nz4Q&nossl=1&oi=scholaralrt

Posted in Alienation

PAS symptoms

1. Attempt of repulsion and understatement of the parent who does not have custody of the child. How does this happen? At the beginning of the breakup the family communication may or may not function well. The parent who does not have custody sees the child just several times a month. Suddenly, however, there are communication problems. The child is usually sick during visitation hours of the non-custodian parent. As a result many of the meetings do not take place and for a variety of reasons there are no make-up meetings. These problems gradually endanger the durability of the relationship with the non-custodian parent and there appear to be serious barriers to communication. The custodian parent tends to make attractive offers and tries to fulfill the children’s desires exactly on the visitation days of the other parent. Children fall into conflict. They identify their needs with those of the person they live with and there is an increasing fear of losing that parent. Eventually the non-custodian parent becomes responsible for the child’s problems in school, for the physical and neurotic symptoms which are considered to be a result of the separation. It is often argued that the child has enuresis, nightmares, etc., after seeing the non-custodian parent. There is an almost complete fading of the previous good memories and common experiences with the rejected parent as if this part of the child’s life has never existed. Rejection puts tremendous pressure on the child. Usually during questioning in court the child cannot say anything specific and hides behind the undeniable “It is what it is. This is what I know.”

2. Absurd rationalization: children create irrational and absurd explanations for their hostile attitude. They do not accept the clarifications of the events and the corrections of the wrong information that has been already provided by the parent – alienator. The absurd rationalizations often take the form of accusations of mental or physical harassment and it is difficult to be recognized by medical professionals because the child tends to be extremely convincing.

3. The lack of normal ambivalence. Each and every human relationship is ambivalent – you can love someone and at the same time you can be mad at him/her. The parent-child relationship is not an exception. In PAS children do not have such duality of feelings – one of the parents is good while the other one is bad. There is complete amnesia of the good memories before the divorce or separation of the parents. The symptom of the lack of ambivalence is important in diagnosing the child’s condition during an exam by an expert – a psychiatrist (or a child psychiatrist), a psychologist or a social worker.

4. Automatically taking sides. Children automatically support the parent-alienator during court hearings regardless of what this parent is saying.

5. Spreading the hostility towards the whole family. All close and distant relatives of the parent-target as well as all of his friends are aggressively rejected by using the same absurd rationalizations.

6. The personal opinion phenomenon. The child always points out that this is his opinion and he is convinced that nobody has pressured him in the formation of that opinion. The child always emphasizes his independence and the custodian parent is always proud of the child’s independent thinking.

Rejection of the father or mother without any reason is opposed to the needs of every child. Children need both parents in order to attain healthy mental and physical development. It is common knowledge that all children (even children with PAS) love both of their parents and want to be able to love them [5]. The consequences of PAS on children’s behavior are aggression, impulsivity, hatred and anger towards others and the self. The victims of this syndrome have a high risk of joining groups of peers with antisocial behavior. As a way to handle family conflict these children tend to run from school and/or use drugs and alcohol [4].

http://scholar.google.fr/scholar_url?url=http://hassacc.com/archive/%3Fvid%3D1%26aid%3D3%26kid%3D150201-25%26q%3Df1&hl=en&sa=X&scisig=AAGBfm1rkAhGtOwj5S6GaCNyDcXi81nz4Q&nossl=1&oi=scholaralrt

Posted in Alienation

Mutilation Of A Child’s Spirit 

Reblogged on WordPress.com

Source: Mutilation Of A Child’s Spirit 

Posted in Alienation

Using Children As Pawns

People use children as pawns when they are angry about something. A parent will create a situation that withholds affection from the child with another person. Child alienation is considered child abuse. Child alienation is always used as a control tactic to hurt someone else. Children who are used as pawns, always grow up to resent their parent who did it. Child alienation not only happens in divorces with parents, but also when the child is withheld from grandparents and other relatives.

https://www.pinterest.com/beaniekh/using-children-as-pawns/