Certain Alienator Personality Types Lead To Parental Alienation
I lost my oldest daughter when she was 14. For over ten years I have been haunted by the inability to understand why I lost her and how abusers perpetrate alienation. She is now in her mid 20’s and, although I sometimes still blame myself I have always known that the real story is a mystery tied to my ex-husband and his overt, malicious campaign to promulgate revenge against me. His success is reflected in her penchant for sending emails reminding me how completely she has rejected me and how deeply she hates me. At one point she even threatened to seek a restraining order if I continued to try to contact her.
I recently received an email with a long list of reasons justifying her shutting me out of her life. I was astounded that almost all the accusations were complete fabrications totally detached from reality. I was equally astounded by the passion with which she wrote. And, I realized that she truly believed her fantasies. But, then I realized her words were really her father’s. She had totally lost herself to his pathological narcissism, his nonsensical need for revenge, and his overwhelming compulsion to hurt me. I also came to realize that Parental Alienation will be successful if perpetrated by a certain alienator personality type.
Now, ten years later I have lost my youngest daughter and I am experiencing the same process of denigration. As I have tried to fight back I have learned a great deal about how spouses and ex-spouses perpetrate Parental Alienation but perhaps the most important but elusive piece of the puzzle has been beyond my grasp. The missing piece is an explanation of exactly how the alienator personality successfully conditions children to become tools of his abuse. What are the mechanisms used to cause loving children to turn so completely to hate?
The three topics introduced below and linked to more comprehensive descriptions may be helpful in understanding the alienation mechanisms. Also, psychological disorders are consistently persistent in an alienator personality.