Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

What is Frankl theory of logotherapy?

Developed by Viktor Frankl, the theory is founded on the belief that human nature is motivated by the search for a life purpose; logotherapy is the pursuit of that meaning for one’s life. Frankl’s theories were heavily influenced by his personal experiences of suffering and loss in Nazi concentration camps.Jul 2, 2015
Man’s Search for Meaning is a 1946 book by Viktor Frankl chronicling his experiences as an Auschwitz concentration camp inmate during World War II, and describing his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose in life to feel positively about, and then immersively imagining that outcome.

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Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Conversations with God (CwG) written by Neale Donald Walsch.

On this day of your life
Linda, I believe God wants you to know …

that being “right” has nothing to do with it.
The idea that you call “right” is the idea that someone
else calls “wrong.” The solution that you call “perfect”
is the solution that another calls “unworkable.” The
position that you feel is unassailable is the very
position that others assail.
What will solve all of this? Not attack, that’s for sure.
And not defense, either. So what is left? Simple human
love. The kind of love that says, “It doesn’t matter who
is right or wrong. It only matters that you are not hurt.
And that we both can benefit. All true benefits are mutual.”
Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Parental Abduction: Stockholm Syndrome-PAS

Every syndrome has symptoms or behaviors and Stockholm Syndrome is no exception. While a clear-cut list has not been established due to varying opinions by researchers and experts, several of these features will be present:

Positive feelings by the victim toward the abuser/controller

Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release

Support of the abuser’s reasons and behaviors

Positive feelings by the abuser toward the victim

Supportive behaviors by the victim, at times helping the abuser

Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment

Stockholm Syndrome doesn’t occur in every hostage or abusive situation. In another bank robbery involving hostages, after terrorizing patrons and employees for many hours, a police sharpshooter shot and wounded the terrorizing bank robber. After he hit the floor, two women picked him up and physically held him up to the window for another shot. As you can see, the length of time one is exposed to abuse/control and other factors are certainly involved.

It has been found that four situations or conditions are present that serve as a foundation for the development of Stockholm Syndrome. These four situations can be found in hostage, severe abuse, and abusive relationships:

The presence of a perceived threat to one’s physical or psychological survival and the belief that the abuser would carry out the threat

The presence of a perceived small kindness from the abuser to the victim

Isolation from perspectives other than those of the abuser

The perceived inability to escape the situation

By considering each situation we can understand how Stockholm Syndrome develops in romantic relationships as well as criminal/hostage situations. Looking at each situation:

Perceived threat to one’s physical/psychological survival

The perception of threat can be formed by direct, indirect, or witnessed methods. Criminal or antisocial partners can directly threaten your life or the life of friends and family. Their history of violence leads us to believe that the captor/controller will carry out the threat in a direct manner if we fail to comply with their demands. The abuser assures us that only our cooperation keeps our loved ones safe.

Indirectly, the abuser/controller offers subtle threats that you will never leave them or have another partner, reminding you that people in the past have paid dearly for not following their wishes. Hints are often offered such as “I know people who can make others disappear”. Indirect threats also come from the stories told by the abuser or controller – how they obtained revenge on those who have crossed them in the past. These stories of revenge are told to remind the victim that revenge is possible if they leave.

Witnessing violence or aggression is also a perceived threat. Witnessing a violent temper directed at a television set, others on the highway, or a third party clearly sends us the message that we could be the next target for violence. Witnessing the thoughts and attitudes of the abuser/controller is threatening and intimidating, knowing that we will be the target of those thoughts in the future.

.Isolation from Perspectives Other than those of the Captor
In abusive and controlling relationships, the victim has the sense they are always “walking on eggshells” – fearful of saying or doing anything that might prompt a violent/intimidating outburst. For their survival, they begin to see the world through the abuser’s perspective. They begin to fix things that might prompt an outburst, act in ways they know makes the abuser happy, or avoid aspects of their own life that may prompt a problem. If we only have a dollar in our pocket, then most of our decisions become financial decisions. If our partner is an abuser or controller, then the majority of our decisions are based on our perception of the abuser’s potential reaction. We become preoccupied with the needs, desires, and habits of the abuser/controller.

Taking the abuser’s perspective as a survival technique can become so intense that the victim actually develops anger toward those trying to help them. The abuser is already angry and resentful toward anyone who would provide the victim support, typically using multiple methods and manipulations to isolate the victim from others. Any contact the victim has with supportive people in the community is met with accusations, threats, and/or violent outbursts. Victims then turn on their family – fearing family contact will cause additional violence and abuse in the home. At this point, victims curse their parents and friends, tell them not to call and stop interfering, and break off communication with others. Agreeing with the abuser/controller, supportive others are now viewed as “causing trouble” and must be avoided. Many victims threaten their family and friends with restraining orders if they continue to “interfere” or try to help the victim in their situation. On the surface it would appear that they have sided with the abuser/controller. In truth, they are trying to minimize contact situation that might make them a target of additional verbal abuse or intimidation. If a casual phone call from Mom prompts a two-hour temper outburst with threats and accusations – the victim quickly realizes it’s safer if Mom stops calling. If simply telling Mom to stop calling doesn’t work, for his or her own safety the victim may accuse Mom of attempting to ruin the relationship and demand that she stop calling.

In severe cases of Stockholm Syndrome in relationships, the victim may have difficulty leaving the abuser and may actually feel the abusive situation is their fault. In law enforcement situations, the victim may actually feel the arrest of their partner for physical abuse or battering is their fault. Some women will allow their children to be removed by child protective agencies rather than give up the relationship with their abuser. As they take the perspective of the abuser, the children are at fault – they complained about the situation, they brought the attention of authorities to the home, and they put the adult relationship at risk. Sadly, the children have now become a danger to the victim’s safety. For those with Stockholm Syndrome, allowing the children to be removed from the home decreases their victim stress while providing an emotionally and physically safer environment for the childre

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Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Leadership Council – The Effect of Childhood Trauma on Brain Development

http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/res/brain.html

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Abuse and Custody Disputes: scientific and legal issues

http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/1.html

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

DV by Proxy

When his victim leaves him, batterers often recognize that the most expedient way to continue to hurt his partner is to assert his legal rights to control her access to their children. By gaining control of the children, an abusive male now has a powerful tool which allows him to continue to stalk, harass and batter an ex-partner even when he has no direct access to her. Moreover, by emotionally torturing the child and severing the bond between children and their mother, he is able to hurt his intended victim — the mother — in a way she cannot resist.

DV by Proxy includes tactics such as: threats of harm to children if they display a positive bond to the mother, destroying favored possessions given by the mother, and emotional torture (for example, telling the child the mother hates them, wanted an abortion, and is not coming to get them because they are unloved).

DV by Proxy may also include coaching the child to make false allegations regarding their mother’s behavior and harming or punishing the child for not complying. DV by Proxy perpetrators may also create fraudulent documents to defraud the court in order to prevent the mother from gaining custody. Whether or not the child is biologically related to them is irrelevant to perpetrators of DV by Proxy. The perpetrator’s main motivation is to hurt his ex; whether or not his own child is harmed in the process is irrelevant to him.

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Parental Alienation – Dr. L.F. Lowenstein – Southern England Psychological Services

http://www.parental-alienation.info/publications/46-thecomofparalitothestosyn.htm

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Difference Between Parent Alienation and Stockholm Syndrome

https://askthepsych.com/atp/2008/04/25/parent-alienation-and-stockholm/

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Real Parental Alienation — part 2 | A Cry For Justice

Once they have custody, the abusive parents often start their own aggressive campaign with their children, to set the children against the protective parent. When the protective parent points that out as real and legitimate parental alienation, the courts often dismiss it, as they consider the behavior to be “paternal bonding”.

Leave it to abusers to find a way to project their own behaviors onto their victims, so that they can continue to get away with their abuse! It’s the old ‘turn everything upside down and inside out’ game, the crazy-making game that abusers specialize in. Not only are they actually alienating their kids from the protective parent, but they blame-shift onto the protective parent, in order to deliver a knock out blow and punish the protective parent for ever having crossed them. Slowly but surely, or sometimes before the protective parent even knows what has happened, the abuser has stripped the protective parent of both their legal rights and their emotional connection to their children.

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Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Because It’s All About Lies.

Because It’s All About Lies.
Probably more than any other crime, parental alienation is all about lies. It’s only about lies. Lies are the weapons alienators use to harm our children by lying tothem about who we are to the point where they no longer know who they are. It’s why parental alienation is considered abuse.
And when we stand by silently while this abuse is taking place, we’re not only allowing it to happen, we’re endorsing it as well. Our silence surrounding the poisoning of our children does nothing but provide a cocoon shielding the actions of these predators from the public and providing a seedbed for this abuse to flourish. And any privacy we feel obligated to uphold to protect our loved ones isn’t protecting anyone except this perpetrator – usually an ex-spouse.
Whatever merit there might be in protecting our alienated children’s privacy is too high a price to pay for what’s happening to them in private:
· For the fact that, throughout the remainder of lives, they will be increasingly vulnerable to depression, alcoholism, academic problems, PTSD, poor relations with peers, and many other psychological and social problems

Continue reading “Because It’s All About Lies.”