Being a targeted step-parent and scientific researcher of parental alienation, I am no stranger to flying monkeys. In the Wizard of Oz, the Wicked Witch of the West used winged monkeys to drive the Wizard out of her territory, kidnap Dorothy and the cowardly lion, and tear the Scarecrow and the Tinman apart, limb for limb. Today, similar flying monkeys are frequently used by alienators to hurt targeted parents and anyone trying to advocate for them.
Unlike in Oz, where the flying monkeys were controlled by a magical golden cap, these monkeys are often motivated by anger or hatred towards the targeted parent. They could be an angry or emotionally unstable ex-romantic partner that the alienator enlists to act on their behalf; an old family friend or neighbor who had a personal slight against the targeted parent; or simply a formerly shared contact that chose the alienator’s side after the separation. The alienators meticulously feed their recruits biased, untrue, and vexatious information designed to fuel their existing anger, dislike, and hatred for the targeted parents. Thus, the monkeys accept the propaganda without second-guessing.
Other times, the flying monkeys have no direct experience of the targeted parent when they believe the alienators’ word, hook, line and sinker. These undiscerning flying monkeys attack because their own personal agendas are triggered when the alienator strategically shares certain “details” about the targeted parent. For example, the alienator may use stereotypes about parents to their advantage, telling others that a father is “abusive” or a mother is “mentally ill.”
Continue reading “Flying Monkey Alert!”
The vindictive ex, like every other divorced person has resentment, anger and bitterness, but the difference between he or she and a normal person is, he or she has a burning desire to punish or harm their ex. In other words, they want revenge and they will stop at nothing to destroy their former spouse to “get even.”
Here are some real life examples of a vindictive ex. These are TRUE STORIES!
- A woman told me her ex-husband put anti-fungal cream on her toothbrush. (they were separated but still living in the same house.)
Another woman said her ex-husband loosened her breaks so that they would fail. Their children were in the car with her when it happened.
A man’s vindictive ex-wife is trying to make a case that her former husband sexually abused their child. She has also put it in the heads of their children. The woman was quoted as saying to her ex, “You’re going to get what you deserve.”
4. A woman’s ex husband stole her car.
- A woman told her children “Your father doesn’t want me or you guys anymore. He has moved on.”
The vindictive ex is a planner. A manipulator. A liar. He or she spends time scheming and concocting a strategy to destroy their ex because that is the only way they know how to deal with their hurt and anger. Here are some possible outcomes of the vindictive ex:
Continue reading “When Hate Comes Before Children”
Perpetrators of spousal revenge filicide kill their own child(ren)
This is typically explained by the killer’s desire for revenge against their spouse
This account does not explain how the killer’s own child can be dehumanised
A deficit in person perception may explain this dehumanisation Continue reading “Making sense of spousal revenge”
Here’s the most interesting part – the deeper I explored what my body held through breathwork and body psychotherapy, the more I discovered what my thoughts, beliefs and judgements really were, and the more I came to realise there is no thought without an emotional and energetic correlative in the body. None of these processes exists without a correlation in our consciousness either. Since then I’ve read the great quantum science discoveries that reflect this, and so much more, but how nice it is to feel it in the body and my relationships. Continue reading “Breathing and releasing grief”
For most of us, acting vengefully never gets past the fantasy stage; our rational minds kick in, along with our moralcompasses, and perhaps our fear of continued reprisal. While we still may be angry, we choose instead to move on with our lives, either in full stride or with a noticeable limp. We don’t send an email to his boss about all the lies he’s told or that his expenses are bogus. We decide against getting word to her new boyfriend about what a scheming, faithless, manipulator she is. We give up on elaborate plans like rounding up his former disgruntled clients so we can try to get him disbarred or lose his realtor license. Revenge may be sweet, as the saying going, but most of us settle for eating bon bons or perhaps buying a voodoo doll to stick pins in. Continue reading “The psychology of revenge”
A Narcopath is the pop-psychology term for a person who shows all the signs of meeting diagnostic criteria for at least two of the Cluster B personality disorder classifications that are outlined in the DSM-5 manual used worldwide by mental health care workers and medical physicians to diagnose patients. The two specific personality disorder types include both Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or NPD) and Anti-Social Personality Disorder (or ASPD). Continue reading “Narcopath”
The NPD constructs a false sense of self to counteract the heartbreaking treatment they received from their parent. In truth the NPD is a victim, but a dangerous one at that. It is unwise to show the NPD the pity and sympathy customarily doted to a victim, for the NPD will see this as weakness and exploit it duly.
The vacuum left by unbetrothed love in the NPD’s formative years is insatiable and unfillable. NPDs tend to be the offspring of other NPDs, or individuals with affective empathy disorders (of which there is a numerous and colourful range of diagnoses). Any love or sympathy the NPD receives as an adult serves merely as a form of ego validation, it is not sentimentally received or appreciated in the way the empath intended.
An NPD is a narcopath (a comorbid psychopathic grandiose narcissist), narcopaths do not feel empathy. A narcissist on the other hand merely has an elevated sense of self, a lack of humility if you will, but this alone does not signify an inability to sympathise. I refer to NPDs as narcopaths, for the absence of empathy customary to the NPD is tantamount to psychopathy, albeit, an egotistical variation on the phenomenon. All narcopaths are egotists, but not all psychopaths are egotists. Continue reading “The Birth of The Narcopath”