Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Vulnerabilities exploited by manipulators

According to Braiker’s self-help book,[1] manipulators exploit the following vulnerabilities (buttons) that may exist in victims:

  • the “disease to please”
  • addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others
  • Emotophobia (fear of negative emotion; i.e. a fear of expressing anger, frustration or disapproval)
  • lack of assertiveness and ability to say no
  • blurry sense of identity (with soft personal boundaries)
  • low self-reliance
  • external locus of control

According to Simon,[2] manipulators exploit the following vulnerabilities that may exist in victims:

  • naïveté – victim finds it too hard to accept the idea that some people are cunning, devious and ruthless or is “in denial” if he or she is being victimized.
  • over-conscientiousness – victim is too willing to give manipulator the benefit of the doubt and see their side of things in which they blame the victim.
  • low self-confidence – victim is self-doubting, lacking in confidence and assertiveness, likely to go on the defensive too easily.
  • over-intellectualization – victim tries too hard to understand and believes the manipulator has some understandable reason to be hurtful.
  • emotional dependency – victim has a submissive or dependent personality. The more emotionally dependent the victim is, the more vulnerable he or she is to being exploited and manipulated.

Manipulators generally take the time to scope out the characteristics and vulnerabilities of their victims.

Kantor advises in his book The Psychopathology of Everyday Life: How to Deal with Manipulative People[3] that vulnerability to psychopathic manipulators involves being too:

  • dependent – dependent people need to be loved and are therefore gullible and liable to say yes to something to which they should say no.
  • immature – has impaired judgment and so tends to believe exaggerated advertising claims.
  • naïve – cannot believe there are dishonest people in the world, or takes it for granted that if there are any, they will not be allowed to prey on others.
  • impressionable – overly seduced by charmers. For example, they might vote for the seemingly charming politician who kisses babies.
  • trusting – people who are honest often assume that everyone else is honest. They are more likely to commit themselves to people they hardly know without checking credentials, etc., and less likely to question so-called experts.
  • lonely – lonely people may accept any offer of human contact. A psychopathic stranger may offer human companionship for a price.
  • narcissistic – narcissists are prone to falling for unmerited flattery.
  • impulsive – make snap decisions about, for example, what to buy or whom to marry without consulting others.
  • altruistic – the opposite of psychopathic: too honest, too fair, too empathetic.
  • frugal – cannot say no to a bargain even if they know the reason it is so cheap.
  • materialistic – easy prey for loan sharks or get-rich-quick schemes.
  • greedy – the greedy and dishonest may fall prey to a psychopath who can easily entice them to act in an immoral way.
  • masochistic – lack self-respect and so unconsciously let psychopaths take advantage of them. They think they deserve it out of a sense of guilt.
  • the elderly – the elderly can become fatigued and less capable of multi-tasking. When hearing a sales pitch they are less likely to consider that it could be a con. They are prone to giving money to someone with a hard-luck story. See elder abuse.

Continue reading “Vulnerabilities exploited by manipulators”

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Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Pass it on – Karen Woodall

‘A guru gives you himself and then his system. A teacher gives us his subject and then ourselves.’ (Adam Gopnik in Through the Children’s Gate). I am back now from our retreat in France where we worked with seven practitioners to help them to develop their leadership and message making skills about parental alienation. This work, which […]

via Pass it On — Karen Woodall

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Understanding Character Disorders

Disturbances of Character

More folks have character disturbances these days. Aspects of modern culture promote such disturbances – even reward them. When these disturbances become serious, we label them character disorders.

By definition, character reflects the moral dimension of personality. Our personalities bespeak the unique way we perceive and deal with our world. But the very way  we prefer to relate and cope can become problematic. (See also the series beginning with: Personality and Character Disorders: A Primer.)

Character disturbances stem from inadequate conscience formation during personality development. And character disorders result from an impoverished or even absent conscience. Moreover, individuals possessing certain traits have trouble forming good consciences. Folks with inflated egos have that trouble. (See: Narcissism and Character Development.) So do folks who tend to be too headstrong or aggressive. (See: Understanding the Aggressive Personalities.) The former have trouble recognizing and respecting a higher authority. The latter actively pit themselves against the rules. Continue reading “Understanding Character Disorders”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Motivations of manipulators

Manipulators can have various possible motivations, including but not limited to:[1]

  • the need to advance their own purposes and personal gain at virtually any cost to others
  • a strong need to attain feelings of power and superiority in relationships with others
  • a want and need to feel in control
  • a desire to gain a feeling of power over others in order to raise their perception of self-esteem
  • boredom, or growing tired of his/her surroundings, seeing it as a game more than hurting others
  • covert agenda, criminal or otherwise, including financial manipulation (often seen when the elderly or unsuspecting, unprotected wealthy are intentionally targeted for the sole purpose of obtaining a victim’s financial assets)

Continue reading “Motivations of manipulators”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

How to Spot Psychopaths: Speech Patterns Give Them Away

Source: How to Spot Psychopaths: Speech Patterns Give Them Away

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

How to Manage Estranged Children – Reconcile Parent Child Relationship

To understand Joe’s response, we have to recognize that when some people feel anxious, tired of conflict or pressure, or too much of the sticky family “togetherness” called fusion, their response is to distance themselves, be it emotionally, physically or both. When a person distances from others, they feel a sense of relief because the distance seemingly brings the conflict to an end. Of course, nothing is actually resolved; instead, more stress is generated.

On the outside, it looks as though Joe and his parents are disconnected. But on the inside, they are actually thinking about each other all the time and remain overly focused on one another. They are, in fact, still extremely involved with one another: they are emotionally bound up together, even though all communication has ceased. Neither is free from the original problem; nor are they free from each other.

Extreme Distancing: Cutting Off

Distancing, at its extreme, turns to cutting off. It can occur after long periods of conflict or as a sudden reaction to a difficult encounter. Whatever the issue, the person doing the cutting off has difficulty addressing and resolving the problem directly and maturely. Instead, like Joe, they stop communicating. Continuing the relationship seems unmanageable to them.

When a parent and child are enmeshed (too emotionally bound up with each other), they are more susceptible to cutting off when anxiety is high. Joe and his parents, for instance, were overly involved and entangled with each other. He was not taking responsibility for himself, nor were his parents taking responsibility for themselves. His parents did not stand up and let him know what they would and wouldn’t accept. Instead they nagged, begged and hoped he would change. He dug his heels in deeper, did less when pushed, and refused to address his part of the problem. They were living in reaction to one another, rather than each taking responsibility for their part of the family “dance.” The only way that Joe could see to get out of this tight tangle was to distance and cut-off from his parents; he didn’t have the skills necessary to untie the knots, to grow up and face himself.

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/estranged-from-your-adult-child-5-things-you-can-do/

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

I Never Stopped Trying

I Never Stopped Trying
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-never-stopped-trying-david-shubert

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Imagine.

http://wp.me/stOau-imagine

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It’s a SCAM!!!

malicious

My book has only been published hard copy, limited editions, and is only available to certain people whom I have known for several years. It will not and never be available online, and will never be available for purchase.

The purpose is to answer questions about and why two loving children turned against me overnight over 27 years ago. It also answers the question of why exactly the same has happened with my grandson after a wonderful eight year relationship ended so abruptly, and explains the reasoning behind why I have never seen my granddaughter.

Small parts have been published on this website which do not incriminate anyone, but the more severe illegal details, photos and exhibits have been left for the book.

No doubt in years to come my grandson will be asking questions about his childhood and why they were always on the move and living in several different countries, leaving behind everything they owned !!!

The reason for publishing this memoir is so there is an accurate truthfull record with supporting documents of everything that happened to me and to him over the past 27 years.

So people who know me will know the truth, not what they have been told.

These are not from memories 27 years later, the events were contemporaneously scripted at the time and have been stored for reference and have now been put together in a book for selected viewing.

Linda Turner

 

 

 

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

How low do you go???

grandma