Many youths experience a traumatic event before entering adulthood, with prevalence rates varying from 14 to 80% [1, 2]. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a traumatic event is defined as one in which somebody experiences or witnesses a threat or violation of a person’s physical or psychological integrity . As a result of exposure to traumatic events, youth may develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD symptoms are intrusive re-experiences (e.g., intrusive thoughts and nightmares), persistent avoidance (e.g., avoidance of feelings/thoughts related to traumatic events), negative alterations in cognitions and mood (e.g., feelings of detachment), and alterations in arousal and reactivity (e.g., sleep problems, hypervigilance) . Youth diagnosed with PTSD experience academic, social, emotional, and physical problems .
Some will say that today we should be standing together. Some will say their thoughts and prayers are with the families of the children and adults murdered and maimed in Manchester. Some will say be strong United Kingdom and stand together. But what can be said or done in the face of the fact that last night someone decided to strap a home made device to themselves and walk into a concert arena full of children? What can possibly be said that makes any sense in a world where this can and does happen, anywhere, anytime, any place, even Manchester in the north of England which experienced last night what has been going on elsewhere in the world for years. What can be said in the face of such alienation from the self and the soul and what is means to be human?
The reality that we face is not…
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Whether it’s called “shunning,” “disconnection,” or “de-fooing,” predatory alienation tears apart families, destroys relationships, and poisons communities.
Empowering the child to reject the targeted parent is a key symptom feature of AB-PA because it is central to the underlying origins of the pathology in the narcissistic/(borderline) parent’s reprocessing of this parent’s own childhood trauma through its reenactment in current relationships.
The empowerment of the child represents a central – and indeed vital – “corrective change” to the original childhood trauma experience of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent-as-a-child that is key to the psychological reprocessing and working through of this childhood trauma experience for the narcissistic/(borderline) parent (which is the psychological function of the trauma reenactment).
In the original childhood trauma experience of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent-as-a-child, the narcissistic/(borderline) parent-as-a-child was helpless, vulnerable, and unable to stop the traumatizing psychological abuse of the experience. Years later, when the divorce activates the attachment system of the narcissistic/(borderline) parent to mediate the loss of the spousal attachment relationship, the childhood trauma patterns
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Kids of people with ASPD typically grow up watching that parent enact the worst forms of social abuse on the opposite parent as well as see them for what they are — moral criminals who do nothing but use, abuse, and destroy any person or social group that comes in their path. Such people are those with a criminal past, a long history of traffic violations rooted in a reckless disregard for both the law and others on the road, and have a history of rolling in the proverbial shit while coming up smelling like roses.
Calculating, cold, guilt-free, and without conscience, a parent with Anti-Social personality traits tend to want to surround themselves with a friend and family circle of people who are weaker than themselves but just like them. Ultimately, their personality types can simply be described as pack animals, meaning they expect to be treated like royalty at all times while creating a home and work environment that resembles the one led by Simba’s uncle Scar in the hit Disney cartoon “The Lion King”.
But it breaks the heart of a kind parent forced to watch a predator lie to, manipulate, and give seriously injurious intentionally bad advice to youngsters of any age, noting that while the parental Abuser “gets off” psychologically and emotionally in the short term for successfully have run a con, the person hurt most long term is ALWAYS, invariably and without question, the blindly following and trusting offspring.
I have been working with alienated children and their families for many years now and I am well used to the risks involved. For practitioners new to the field however, the risks may not be visible, until it is too late. Developing the new European Association for Parental Alienation Practitioners, is one of the ways that the Family Separation Clinic is committed to building an alienation aware work force which is not risk averse in its approach. Teaching other practitioners how to ensure that they do not suffer the consequences of intervening in alienation cases, via alienating parents triangulating their governing body into the dynamic is another.
This subject is dear to my heart because I suffered the consequence of being governed by a body which is not alienation aware and therefore was not sufficiently capable of recognising the way in which it was being used by an alienating parent…
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I read this week that a transfer of residence is the ‘nuclear option’ for treatment of parental alienation in the UK . The discussion arises from a public judgement in which the child concerned was sent to live with her father. Whilst there is a significant wrangling about the decision, based on the argument that the child had been too damaged already to be helped by a change of residence, (the judge finding that a particularly unattractive argument put forward by the mother), the words at the end of the Judgement are clear, the child will go to live with her father today.
That reality, which could just as easily read, the child will go to live with her mother today, given that fathers alienate mothers too, is one which causes too many people to become uneasy when they contemplate it. Which is why I guess, it is called by…
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